Thursday, May 5, 2011
.. and my porridge is a-a-al-l-l-l-l gone!
Alternatively titled: Y'know how when you're dieting they say you should cut everything in half?
Ever had sponge candy? We called it sea foam candy when I was a kid. It's crunchy and chewy yet light and airy. Add a chocolate coating and you have heaven in an old fashioned treat. Yum!
Did you know you can buy stuff like that on Etsy? Heh - with your choice of what kind of chocolate to coat it with even! But y'know - I think I'm getting the message God! I shouldn't be eating chocolate much less ordering wonderful sweets through the mail! Got it loud and clear!
This box was on my porch when I got home from work today. Didn't notice anything unusual until I drove past the porch to the spot where I park. The box looked .. funny. Ha ha ha. Funny! See the chewed spots? I was a bit amused - until I got out of my car and saw a critter escaping from the porch to the yard and up a tree. Cause then I saw the other end of the box.
That's Abby who wouldn't leave the box alone when I brought it into the house. Let me guarantee you she could not have cared less about the treats in the box. All she cared about was the wildlife she smelled on the box! Will you look at that?? There were no Styrofoam peanuts on the concrete, but there were bits and pieces of cardboard strewn about.
When I got a closer look - I realized it wasn't only the outer box that had been breached. Oh no! This varmint had a sweet tooth, that's all I have to say! There are actually 2 white gift boxes inside, and one of them - well I gasped when I saw the hole in it! I don't know why I was surprised after seeing the state of the outside box but - c'mon! This is a violation! You don't just chew a woman's front porch delivery and then steal and eat her chocolate! It's just not done!
Amazingly enough, one whole box was empty. EMPTY! This animal had been having a sweet feast on my porch for probably a good part of the afternoon. It would have had to be practically sitting inside the big box with it's head stuck inside the smaller box - probably dizzy with the intoxicating aroma of dark chocolate and sponge candy! I know I would've been.
I have to wonder if there was a crew - like a crew that chops a stolen car, or a pit crew at the races. Because while not huge, that empty white box was at least the same size as this critter's body, minus tail of course. And the contents probably weighed the same - do you think it could eat it's weight in chocolate covered goodness? I mean just because I probably could, you wouldn't think a furry woodland creature would have that great a taste for it.
Of course it didn't end there. Oh no .. if I hadn't pulled up when I did - the second box was about to be invaded too. Oh does the horror never end???
I quickly looked around to see if there were anymore wild animals close by and did not see hide nor hair of the culprit(s)! I managed to scoop up what was left of the package and bring it into the house. Sigh-h-h. I suspect however, that my perpetrator had moved on to find some drink to wash down all that chocolate.
And I? Opened up that second box and had a few pieces of lovely chocolate covered sea foam candy. It was awesome. Almost made me forget that I was just the victim of a heinous crime. Mmmmm ..
If you don't have ninja squirrels in your neighborhood, or are home during the day to receive a package, you really ought to try some homemade candy. And do me a favor, have some for me, will you please?