Friday, May 24, 2013

Okay so .. I'm mad.

My lap-band surgery was a few months short of 2 years ago now.  The time has gone by quickly and there have been many changes in my life, as well as ups and downs.  But one thing that has remained the same is my weight.  Well that's not entirely true.  It has gone down by about 10 lbs and up 10, down 5, up 10 ... !  Saying I am frustrated is a colossal understatement.

Trying to figure out why this hasn't worked for me is hard to understand or explain but basically the band is supposed to make me feel like my stomach is smaller so I get full faster.  Instead it just feels like there is a lump in my throat that makes eating uncomfortable and sometimes painful.  That might stop some people from eating, but following instructions and taking small bites and chewing well allows me to eat most foods.  And my hunger is still the same.  Whatever signals were supposed to change - have not.

I am still not the most disciplined eater, obviously, but I have changed a lot of things that I eat and am
constantly trying to do better.  But when I get frustrated it is my nature to dive into something bad for me.  At least I am honest about it and strive to change my habits.

After thinking about it and reviewing my options I decided I want to have the band removed.  I mean - this is just uncomfortable and frustrating for me.  I know it has worked for many people but apparently I am not one of them.  I am considering other options but at this point that is not my main concern.  My main concern is getting the band removed and upon calling my new insurance company (new because of the new job) I was told my plan does not cover any kind of bariatric surgery.  I cannot believe that I have a medical appliance inside my body that my insurance will not cover the removal of.  I mean - this is 2013 - is that even possible?

Anyway, I am past the point of annoyance, disappointment and frustration and have reached the anger stage.

I do some of my best work when I am angry.  Stay tuned.


8 comments:

  1. I think you're making a good decision. A group of my friends were discussing Gov. Christie and his lapband surgery and so many of my friends knew someone who had to have it removed because of complications. Lots of luck with the new surgery.

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    1. First I have to fight with the insurance company. But I think I can deal with them. I have all kinds of emotions about this - disappointment that this didn't work for me, disappointment that I haven't been able to lose the weight (long term) myself .. UGH. But .. moving forward.

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  2. Hope you don't have to fight too hard to get it removed! Just put it down to experience and don't be too upset it didn't work for you!

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    1. Oh I'll find a way Lady B, one way or another.

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  3. I can't believe that, who would have known, right. I have to wonder though, my thoughts wandered as I read this post. I have followed your blog posts about the lap band and wondered if they hadn't used you as a placebo, or I mean a test subject. I mean come on it is a for sure thing or they wouldn't be doing it. They don't have the time or money to take up OR time, however they are doing many studies on obesity and I knew someone who was a part study. Do you think? not to make you more upset but I like you, figure this lap band should have yielded results by now. My heart is with you on this one

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    1. No, that would be SO illegal - and they would be setting themselves up for a big lawsuit if they did that.

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  4. I hate that for you. I know it was something that you were excited about. I have been on my own weight loss journey. So far I have lost 13 pounds, but sadly I don't seem a lot of change yet. I am doing the low carb, which is so hard. Being a long time Dr Pepper addict I didn't think I could give them up. But apparently I want this really bad. I drink coffee or tea and a lot of water. I miss bread but I can deal for a while. I was considering trying the band myself, but after your story, it makes me wonder if I shouldn't just keep trying on my own and see what happens. Good luck on your quest, I hope things work out for the best for you.

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    1. I WAS excited! I know the band works for many people so I don't want to say no one should do it. But it's not for me. I give you props for doing it on your own - I have done that so many times and it gets harder every time, and I always gain it back. I've lost as much as 60 lbs or more - and then gained it back. Ugh. No fun Tonya, no fun. But it's good to see ya around!

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