Thursday, June 20, 2013

You're just sayin', huh?

It's a terrible thing when anyone dies too young.  James Gandolfini is one of those people.  It hits close to home when that someone is younger than you are and appears to have some of the same issues you do.  In this case - weight issues.  At least that's what people have been saying. The man was a fabulous actor but more importantly he had a teenage son and an 8 month old baby girl that will never know her father.  So very sad.

At work this morning in the kitchen area where I was getting hot water for my tea, I spoke to one of my coworkers about it.  His response was "it is tragic.  Really, tragic."  He went on, "The man was an amazing actor in my book, and it's tragic." He looked at me and raised his eyebrows in a knowing way, "But it's not a surprise. Really.  You look at that - " again the eyebrows raised - "and you know, it's not a surprise."

The way he said 'that' was like he was calling James Gandolfini a thing.  A fat thing.  You look at 'that' and it's not a surprise.  There was a hint of disgust in his voice, a little - 'he did it to himself' there too.

I raised my eyebrows back - didn't the man realize he was talking to a fat person?  Didn't he realize he might as well tell me he wouldn't be surprised if I died as well?  With the implication that it would be my own fault?  And isn't he making a lot of assumptions as many people do about why one person is heavy and another is not?

Ignorance is an amazing thing.  So is that feeling of superiority some people feel they are entitled to have because of the size of their waistband.

I will say about James Gandolfini the same thing I say about myself.  You do not know how he got there.  You don't know his story, you don't know his struggles.  And the number on your scale does not give you the right to comment on the number on his - or mine.


  1. You're so right. I can't add anything to that.

  2. You go! I was so right there raising my eyebrow as I read along. Hum, have meet a few of those in my day, and still do at times. I remember a conversation with someone, isn't important who and I'd just about had it up to here and here is only 4' 11" by the way and the person is going on with the same attitude, and I looked across and just simply whispered, "do you notice every time your mouth opens, sh__ falls out?" Sorry, I had to tell you this as it brought back that memory and at my age you share when your remember.