Maxine Monday

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The next challenge

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3 Hospital stays, just for the hospital. Haven't even gotten the one where she spent most of the time in the ICU! $69880.26. Wow. Glad they aren't actually asking for this amount!




But they ARE all asking for this. Pain Management Physicians, Physical Therapy, Ambulance Service, The Fire Department, E.R. Physicians, nursing home physicians .... sigh ...



Believe or not, all these bills were much scarier inside their envelopes. I will bring all this to work tomorrow and during my lunch I will make some phone calls to get actual totals owed so I can bring just one bill from each service to the nursing home tomorrow evening. Mom has asked me to bring the bills. She delegates everything to me - but I'm not sure if she'll listen to me if I tell her not to pay the total to each one. We will see how well she does the money/bill balancing act. Wish me luck!

** I have to admit I am starting to feel like a grownup. I had to be 51 years old and be responsible for my mother before I felt like a grown up. I wonder if other people feel that way.
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Deny, Deny, Deny!

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My boss called me today. "How are you doing BJ?"

"I'm fine - I start every week with a new attitude, didn't ya know?"

"Nah, I mean .. I know you have a lot to deal with right now here, and at home .. seems the last 3 weeks there's been a change."

Yeah. Yay me.

He's right though. Things have been rough at work lately, truly rough, I'm not the only one feeling it. I may be the only one who has started to cry and hung up on a conference call, loudly, last week though.

I've found that when my mom goes into the hospital I go on super-stress overload. And then once she is out of the hospital I am still back and forth to the nursing home getting her settled in her room again, everything just so, put where she can find it - or wants it. For days. After that I may need a week where I only visit 3 times to finally decompress, and by the end of that week I start to find some calm.

But there have been visitors too, visitors, hospital, and visitors. When you have stress at home it would be really nice if you had a sweet and enjoyable job. And visa versa. Stressful job? It would be wonderful to have a peaceful and calm home.

BUT - that aint happening either place, anytime soon. And I vehemently deny that some kind of hellacious menopausal hormonal event was taking place at the same time - for the last few weeks. Uh uh. I did NOT cry at commercials or get angry at the sound of a voice. Nuh uh. Not me. I did not fervently crave Lucky Charms (okay, just the charms) or hot fudge applied to anything, either.

Because if I had had that much stress at home and work and in my body functioning - I seriously would have killed someone. Really. And as long as you don't dig behind the garage - we'll be fine.

I'm feeling better, thank you very much. Thanks for asking, Boss!


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Maxine Monday

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Want some cheese with that whine?

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Embroidery projects brought to the nursing home have been untouched. Crochet projects, undone. The knitting needles and yarn sit unused. Even the silly little paint by numbers kit hasn't been attempted.

For over a month I collected photos, family photos, scanned then, sized them, put over a hundred and thirty of them on different backgrounds, added some landscapes and flowers and loaded them on a 12" digital picture frame and brought that to my mom.

My daughter and her fiance' visit regularly and read to her, bring her black jelly beans, ice cream, and even freeze dried space ice cream which she loves.

I do her laundry and bring her grape juice, take her downstairs to the little aviary to see the birds and wheel her outside to the patio when the weather is good. I clean the jello from the floor, pick up the peas and the other food she drops. I charge her phone, download apps and
help her listen to her voicemail. I advocate for her, talk to the doctors and nurses and aids, search through the nursing home laundry in the basement for missing clothes.

My brothers and my nephew came in to visit from out of state, brought her chocolate, stuffed animals and hugs and kisses.

But ...

NONE OF US CAN GIVE HER WHAT SHE WANTS.

She talks about going to Target to find a pot for a plant. Or going to the bank to open a new account. She asks when she can go to visit my brother in New Jersey to see the plants around his house. She wants to go and do the things other people do.

I'm afraid to take her out.

She is too weak to walk more than a few feet without losing her breath. She has a huge oxygen tank attached to the back of the wheelchair she uses and the logistics terrify me.

I can't do it. The one thing she wants, and I cannot give it to her.

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Maxine Monday

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Breathe deep ...!

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I wrote about how this type of program affected me as a kid, and I was just a neighbor. Imagine the new perspective these children get, how many possibilities they see. Truly an awesome opportunity.

Wonderful for everyone involved. Please consider it.