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Monday, January 31, 2011
Friday, January 28, 2011
Steve Jobs is evil! Or a comedian. Not sure which.
If you have an iPhone you are already familiar with auto-correct. When you type, the iPhone predicts what you are trying to say and automatically completes words or changes them totally, assuming it knows what you are trying to say better than you do. There are times when I think those iPhone developers got drunk or high and sat around figuring out what ridiculous things to change different words to like - always change happy to herpes or song to spit. Or worse. Much much worse. Turns out - there is a website dedicated to chronicling people's experiences with auto-correct. Glad it's not just me.
Warning, if you have had children or are of a certain age - empty your bladder appropriately before continuing. Offering you the benefits of my mistake.
Need a tissue?
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Monday, January 24, 2011
Friday, January 21, 2011
Risking the rude stuff
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I'm supposed to have a sleep study done pretty soon. Hopefully. My reaction? "Coo-o-o-o-o-l!!" I've always thought it sounded like a neat thing to do. A friend of mine had one recently and found out she stopped breathing 4 times during the night. Not sure I want to know that. But on the other hand, it's still cool to go somewhere and get all wired up and find out what you do at the one time every day that you have no idea what you are doing. I mean really. You could be sleep walking, you could be crank calling strangers. Of course you could be sleeping peacefully and not making a sound, or you could be snorting like a pig and baying like a beagle. You. Don't. Know.
So I am hoping to do this in the next month or so. From what I have been told they recommend you bring your own pillows if that will make you comfortable, your favorite jammies, a book, your laptop, whatever will help you feel at home and contribute to the most normal sleep you can get away from home with goobered up wires stuck in your hair and down your shirt and wherever else they put them.
The only creepy thing about it to me is - they don't just watch the monitors. They watch you. How many people do you suppose scratch and wipe and make noises with accompanying odors that have nothing to do with the sleep study, but someone is observing anyway? I mean - there could be people behind a window making a drinking game out of every time you *insert disgusting action here*. Again, you just. don't. know.
I guess I'll risk the ridicule to find out why I don't sleep well anymore when it used to be one of my specialties. Oh I was a champion sleeper! Now - I toss and turn all night long. And I am so tired. I won't bring my pillows or a favorite blanket or anything, but you can bet I will bring my laptop and Eeyore. Yes, I sleep with Eeyore. He comes with me. I mean really, you need someone to blame the rude stuff on, don't you?
I'm supposed to have a sleep study done pretty soon. Hopefully. My reaction? "Coo-o-o-o-o-l!!" I've always thought it sounded like a neat thing to do. A friend of mine had one recently and found out she stopped breathing 4 times during the night. Not sure I want to know that. But on the other hand, it's still cool to go somewhere and get all wired up and find out what you do at the one time every day that you have no idea what you are doing. I mean really. You could be sleep walking, you could be crank calling strangers. Of course you could be sleeping peacefully and not making a sound, or you could be snorting like a pig and baying like a beagle. You. Don't. Know.
So I am hoping to do this in the next month or so. From what I have been told they recommend you bring your own pillows if that will make you comfortable, your favorite jammies, a book, your laptop, whatever will help you feel at home and contribute to the most normal sleep you can get away from home with goobered up wires stuck in your hair and down your shirt and wherever else they put them.
The only creepy thing about it to me is - they don't just watch the monitors. They watch you. How many people do you suppose scratch and wipe and make noises with accompanying odors that have nothing to do with the sleep study, but someone is observing anyway? I mean - there could be people behind a window making a drinking game out of every time you *insert disgusting action here*. Again, you just. don't. know.I guess I'll risk the ridicule to find out why I don't sleep well anymore when it used to be one of my specialties. Oh I was a champion sleeper! Now - I toss and turn all night long. And I am so tired. I won't bring my pillows or a favorite blanket or anything, but you can bet I will bring my laptop and Eeyore. Yes, I sleep with Eeyore. He comes with me. I mean really, you need someone to blame the rude stuff on, don't you?
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Monday, January 17, 2011
All is well, I can breathe again.
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I received my money back today for my Ambien fueled purchase last week. Was that last week? I don't even know. But I only had to make one phone call and TA DA!!
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I received my money back today for my Ambien fueled purchase last week. Was that last week? I don't even know. But I only had to make one phone call and TA DA!!
You won't find one single little Ambien pill in my house anywhere, and you can bet I can do without now. If I didn't learn from this lesson, I'm a damn fool.
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Friday, January 14, 2011
What DOES one do with a dead possum?
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Yes I know it's opossum, but who says that? I came home from work as usual tonight, after dark, also as usual. I'm tired but it's Friday so I am happy. I gather my purse and my bag of fast food and get out of the car, moving around to the back to open the door and take my computer bag out. I set it on the driveway and pulled the handle out, wheeling it around behind me as I stepped toward the porch and the dead animal. WHAT?
After I stood frozen to the spot for a full minute or 2 it occurred to me that I couldn't do anything right that second and OH! It's a possum! Probably scared him when I drove up the driveway! I stepped over him making sure I didn't hit him with my computer bag as I stepped up on the porch, unlocked the door and went inside.
Um .. does anyone know how long a possum traditionally plays possum once the cats aren't watching from the window anymore? Cause - it's awful cold out there and he's really going to be dead if he doesn't get up and run away soon.
GO Mr. Possum, go! Mr. Possum? Ew.
**Apparently people pay $55.00 for a man to come and take away animals that have crawled up your driveway to die. I guess the city only takes them for free if it is on the street or the parkway. NO, I'm not dragging it down to the street. Ew. He's kind of a cute big headed little animal (his name is Larry) but possums are nasty, germy animals. I'll let a professional handle it.
***And then the man who was coming out this morning calls and says he can't find my address. Turns out he thought I was in another town. If it's my town - the price is $125.00. So lets be clear. There is an empty lot across the street, kitty corner to me. If I were a bad citizen I could pick up Larry with a shovel, carry him across the street and unceremoniously dump him. Ahem. Instead I say no thank you to the $125.00 offer and move on. He calls back - how about $85.00? Um, no thank you. I called somewhere else - IN the town I live in - $150.00! For a possum that is not under a porch or in an attic or inside my garage. Larry is laying peacefully on my driveway, next to the porch. Next phone call - found a guy who can be here in a half hour for $65.00. Sold. Somehow this is not a contingency I have ever planned for. I must remember to plan better.
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Yes I know it's opossum, but who says that? I came home from work as usual tonight, after dark, also as usual. I'm tired but it's Friday so I am happy. I gather my purse and my bag of fast food and get out of the car, moving around to the back to open the door and take my computer bag out. I set it on the driveway and pulled the handle out, wheeling it around behind me as I stepped toward the porch and the dead animal. WHAT?
After I stood frozen to the spot for a full minute or 2 it occurred to me that I couldn't do anything right that second and OH! It's a possum! Probably scared him when I drove up the driveway! I stepped over him making sure I didn't hit him with my computer bag as I stepped up on the porch, unlocked the door and went inside.
 |
| GRAPHIC IMAGE |
Um .. does anyone know how long a possum traditionally plays possum once the cats aren't watching from the window anymore? Cause - it's awful cold out there and he's really going to be dead if he doesn't get up and run away soon.
GO Mr. Possum, go! Mr. Possum? Ew.
**Apparently people pay $55.00 for a man to come and take away animals that have crawled up your driveway to die. I guess the city only takes them for free if it is on the street or the parkway. NO, I'm not dragging it down to the street. Ew. He's kind of a cute big headed little animal (his name is Larry) but possums are nasty, germy animals. I'll let a professional handle it.
***And then the man who was coming out this morning calls and says he can't find my address. Turns out he thought I was in another town. If it's my town - the price is $125.00. So lets be clear. There is an empty lot across the street, kitty corner to me. If I were a bad citizen I could pick up Larry with a shovel, carry him across the street and unceremoniously dump him. Ahem. Instead I say no thank you to the $125.00 offer and move on. He calls back - how about $85.00? Um, no thank you. I called somewhere else - IN the town I live in - $150.00! For a possum that is not under a porch or in an attic or inside my garage. Larry is laying peacefully on my driveway, next to the porch. Next phone call - found a guy who can be here in a half hour for $65.00. Sold. Somehow this is not a contingency I have ever planned for. I must remember to plan better.
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