Okay yeah. I admit it. I've been watching this.

*

VH1's - Rock of Love-

*This - was the object.

This girl was too sensitive and sweet.

This one drank too much.

This girl was just plain evil.

..... and this one was a skenk.

And this little girl made sloppy kissy sounds .. all the way home! Jes wins!

*

Why fix something that isn't broken?

*
From: P&G Consumer Relations

Date: Friday, September 28, 2007 9:54 PM

Subject: Thanks for contacting P&G. [Incident: 070923-000744]
______________________________________________________

Thanks for writing.

I regret to hear that you don't like (you didn't have to say hate) the changes we made to Tampax. Whenever we introduce new products, we like to hear from people (who like our changes) who've tried them so we know what other improvements you might like. Your satisfaction means a great deal to us. I'm sharing your comments with the rest of the Tampax Team (and we're having a good laugh).

Tampax Tampons are now shorter and wider for improved fit to your (the average 15 year old girls) body. They also have a new built in back up skirt (skirt? what tampon needs a skirt??). This is a thin, absorbent layer of material that helps pull fluid (down toward the string) up into the tampon, keeping it from going (up into the tampon) down the string. While we've upgraded (made it less expensive to manufacture) the tampon, we haven't changed the absorbency (much) and we would expect you to have the same great protection (NOT).

You may be interested in trying Tampax Pearl (since you haven't tried anything new in years). Since you've included your postal address (because you could not send the email without it), I'm sending you a coupon to (prove I responded to you) give it a try. You should receive it at the mailing address you provided within the next 3-4 weeks.

Thanks again (for being a pain in my butt) for writing.

Pattie
Tampax Team

______________________________________________________

NOT the answer I was looking for.
*

This is what happens when the jack-ass who feeds 'em doesn't show up to work one day!

~*~

~*~

What took me so long?

I have been feeling very tired this week and haven’t been sleeping that well. That’s very unusual for me as I have always been a champion sleeper. On my drive home from work I was thinking about why, when I walk in the door after work, I can’t seem to just change my clothes and lay down for a little bit of a nap. Or big nap. Whatever the case may be, I never get there very fast.

So, coming in the door today I was paying attention to just what it is I do when I come home.

I walked in the door and set my purse down on the desk, as well as my keys. I made the observation that there were 2 packages for me sitting on the desk. My son must have brought them in earlier in the day. Into the kitchen where I set down my lunch box, I opened it and removed the ice thingy so I could pop it back into the freezer. Also removed the lid and rinsed out my travel mug at the sink.

By then Riley (the cranky old male cat) was yelling at me so I followed him into the back of the house to add some more dry food to the dishes back there. Not that he really wanted to eat right then, he just likes to assert his alpha maleness and see if he can get me to serve him. Yes he can. When I finished with that I headed back to the kitchen where Riley was already waiting by the water dishes, expectantly. Obediently I emptied, rinsed, and refilled those.

As I headed out of the kitchen Jakie (the oldest female cat) was already yelling at me to follow her to the bathroom and since it was in the direction I was already going, I did. In the bathroom she jumped up onto the toilet and waited for me to turn the water on at the faucet, and then clearly yelled “Mo-om” at me because she wanted me to pick her up, give her a pet and a snuggle and then set her down on the counter so she could drink from the tap.

After I completed that I continued to head to my bedroom where I took my shoes off and my pants, grabbed a pair of ¾ length work out pants (yeah right) and quickly pulled those on. I headed back out of the bedroom stopping at the bathroom to turn the water off and remembered I forgot to unleash the girls. I unhooked my bra and had it mostly off and pulled out from under my shirt by the time I got back to my bedroom, and dropped it on my bed. Did you guess I was home alone? Er … without humans?

I left the bedroom again, stopped in front of the couch and turned on my laptop and the TV. My control center. I headed back toward the kitchen to get something to drink and poor Norah ( the middle child kitty) who is the skittish one had run into the carrier next to the desk so I stopped to pet her, to encourage her to come out and get some attention, rewarding her for not being as doggone (heh) demanding as the rest!

Oh! There were packages, right! I grabbed those and plopped them down on the couch to be attended to when I got back to my ‘spot’. I went into the kitchen and grabbed a can of pop (yes, pop, not soda) out of the fridge which I carried into the living room and set down on the end table next to my laptop.

By then I really needed to pee so I turned around and went back to the bathroom and was joined by Jake again so before I sat down I turned the water on and put her back on the counter. Again. When I did sit down to do my business, Jake jumped down from the counter and rubbed against my legs so I pet her with one hand while I attended to Abby’s paw (she is the youngest and most evil of the cats) coming into the room from under the door. Seeing as that is the only way you can play with her without her drawing blood - with a door separating you from her, and always wanting to take advantage of an opportunity to socialize her more, I patted her paw, grabbed at it with my fingers and wrapped a string (left on the bathroom floor for this purpose) around it. Still. petting. Jake. When I finished up I washed my hands (because you know women do and men don’t. much.) and left the room.

At that point I made it to the couch and sat down. Yay. I opened my packages, set one item aside but then had to try out one of my purchases. It was a Furminator. Yes, that’s what I said. A Furminator. Always being in search of a new torture - er - tool with which to groom the beasts I live with, I had to try it out.

Fast forward – I managed to de-fur (somewhat) 3 of the cats, ending up with a nice clump of hair which I headed into the kitchen to throw into the garbage, and stopped at the sink to rinse my hands off.

Back into the living room I signed onto my laptop, opening MSN and my mail, then Firefox and my usual 3 tabs, Etsy, my blog, and Google Reader. I checked my mail, deleted the junk and moved on to my blog. There were no new comments. The Dan Band wasn’t a hit but I’m telling you I will go see them when they come to town, blog love or no. You will be so jealous when I tell you all about it!

Next I checked my reader; there were 23 new posts to read which I refrained from doing. Okay maybe I read a few. And commented. It was tough but I managed to control myself and did not go through every single one. I grabbed the phone and moved to the other end of the couch, laying the phone within reach on the carpet, realizing as I finally lay down that I had not taken my earrings off. I can sleep with the earrings in the back holes, but I have to remove the chunkier earrings I wear in the front. I got back up and took my earrings off as I trudged to my bedroom and laid them on my dresser.

I looked around warily as I made my way back to the couch, what else had I forgotten? It was only 45 freakin’ minutes since I had gotten home, and I was finally going to lay down for a teeny tiny nap (read: knock out and wake up 3 hours later) if there was nothing else I felt compelled. to. do.

I lay down and pulled the quilt off the back of the couch and covered myself with it lying on my side. Jake was immediately there next to the couch looking up at me so I lifted the corner of the quilt up and she jumped up and crawled under, turned around so she could poke her head out and rest her head in the crook of my arm. Ah-h-h. Finally. After many wasted movements and demands from the other inhabitants of my home, I was able to rest. Nice.

Am I late to THIS party??!?

Driving home from work today mindlessly listening to the radio - I heard an interview with a guy named Dan Finnerty. The premise, ladies and gentlemen is, some regular guys got together, formed a band to sing - uh-huh - girl power ballads! YES!!!

I lifted this right from their site The Dan Band:

"Dan Finnerty grew up in the small town of Bath, NY, where, as a casualty of the parachute pants era, he constantly avoided getting his ass kicked by the farmers for not wearing work boots and Lee jeans. Dan escaped the lovely countryside, and moved to Boston, where he attended Emerson College.

After four years of showering with an empty keg in the tub, Finnerty graduated and was cast as Woof in the European Tour of "HAIR," directed by it's author, James Rado.

He spent a year traveling through Europe on a bus full of hippies, then left to pursue his dreams of being a waiter at a 50's diner in New York City ...

In between shifts, he landed some off-Broadway shows, and some very impressive atmosphere work on 'Guiding Light,' and reluctantly left the food service industry when he was cast in "STOMP."

He went back out on the road again, banging garbage all across the country, finally settling down in Los Angeles.

He's been on a bunch of TV shows and in some films, and has been quite fascinating in all of them.

He lives a happy life with his pretty wife Kathy and their kick ass daughter Sam."

*"The whole girl song thing started in one obliterated collision with the karaoke world, when Dan thought it would be funny to get up and sing "I Am Woman." Funny for some maybe, but not for Dan. It was then that he realized yes, he still was an embryo with a long, long way to go.

He left the safety of the karaoke world and ventured out into the hardened streets of LA, where he found a couple of down and out backup guys, a full band of rocker renegades, mixed in some girl songs and some bad choreography, and from the afterbirth, the Dan Band was born."

Put your hands together for - The - Dan Band!!!

*Added

~*~ BENIGN ~*~

~*~

This stuff just cracks me up..

When people cannot control the laughter ...