Veggies & cats. Not on the same plate.

Lunch!

I've really been doing well with my new healthy eating.  Trying.  Really trying.  But apparently things don't turn around immediately.  WHY NOT!!???

Ahem.

I thought I would give you a cat update since I have refrained for a while.  You're welcome.  They are all fine. The end.

That's pretty accurate, really.  Norah (of the spine and kidney problems) is still getting fluids and meds every day, but she's eating and playing and jumping onto and off of furniture again.  And she can get away from me when she sees that bag of "plasma-lite" come out!

Jake is good, she's at 1.5 units of insulin a day and she's been eating really well and even socializing (read - demanding to sit on my lap) more than she has in a long time.  Riley is Riley.  He's old, he's crabby, and he's a man cat.

Speaking of which - I need to go tend to the inmates in this asylum.  You'd think I'd at least work off a couple pounds chasing Norah - whoops!  There she goes!

Consider me intervened.

I'm not a drinker, I don't do drugs or even smoke cigarettes anymore.  But I needed an intervention.

My daughter is a vegetarian.  I swear I didn't raise her that way.  And apparently she and her husband have been trying to eat better, more fresh foods, more "clean" eating.  Yay!  For them, that is.  Ahem.  Last week my daughter brought me shopping in order to help me make some healthy choices and maybe consider some better alternatives to what I normally eat.  We bought things we had to put in bags ourselves, some refrigerated, very little frozen anything.  There were green things in my cart.

Shudder.

This week I ate hummus (which I have objected to for YEARS because of the texture), sweet baby bell peppers (I don't LIKE peppers), kale (didn't even know what it was), radishes, carrots, lettuce, cucumbers, and all manner of things deemed to be healthy because they are as close to their natural state as possible.

And I liked it.  WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME????

Tonight I splurged and made homemade pizza.  Dani had picked out some whole wheat pizza dough for me,

so I made pizza with kale, peppers, minced garlic, Parmesan cheese as well as soy "cheese" and a little mozzarella.  Very different for me since there was no greasy pepperoni and the cheese was not piled high enough to cover anything else that might be on it.  And it was still good!  I only ate 2 pieces.  My son on the other hand, polished off the rest.

I know myself well enough to know I will backslide quicker than you can say bigbackside if I try to be extreme about the whole thing.  So I'm not thinking of it as a diet, just as Dani said - trying to think of food differently.

And I won't give up everything I like, just try to find healthier ways of eating them.  Like my latest favorite ice cream (I'm still in shock because it's not chocolate) Blue Bunny Birthday Party - it's awesome.  Still eating it - just changed my portion size to a custard cup.  Wow.  That custard cup looks huge in the picture.  I swear it's not!

Coincidentally, I got results back from blood work I had done a week ago, my cholesterol is high, triglycerides, etc.  So it's time to make a change.  Wish me luck!

And thank you Dani, for loving me enough to be gentle and for not shoving me into this.  I love you Honey!

In response to my doctor.

I'm announcing here that eating is over-rated and I'm giving it up. I'm done. I mean, it's just not working for me. Somehow no matter how I do it I do it badly.

So, I was thinking. When someone has a gastric bypass, how do they lose weight? Well, they lose weight by eating very little. So, what is the difference between not eating because your stomach has been stapled to the size of a gummy bear, or because you simply choose not to? Really, what is the difference?

Over the last 5 or more years I have convinced myself that what all the books and doctors and probably Oprah have said is true. Diets don't work. I took the course of - eat what I want, when I want, and stop when I am full. Of course that is supposed to encourage moderation and all that but I guess that's not how it has worked for me.

I have becoming increasingly cognizant of the fact that the older I get the less fuel my body needs. How fair is that? You live for years, you struggle and work and get to a point where maybe you can be a bit more comfortable and enjoy things, and whoosh! Somebody pulls the rug out from under you and says - yes, relax and enjoy your middle age and beyond, but just so you know - all those foods that you have come to love over the years? Yeah, they're poison to you now. They will make your butt big, enlarge your heart and push your blood pressure up. They will raise your sugar and make you winded after walking from your car into the Taco Bell. Yeah. Enjoy aging, enjoy your hard earned experience and wisdom, but eat oatmeal and radishes and boiled chicken breasts for the rest of your life! Argh-h-h!

So - I give up. If I cannot eat responsibly then I cannot be trusted to eat at all. And I'm fed up. (No pun intended.) I'm just done.