Things are just bad.

Right now it would be lovely to write about what's going on. I am going through something I've never been through before, and many days feel as if I am hanging onto sanity by a thread. At some point I will elaborate, but not now.

Still, with all the bad, there are bright spots. 4 yr old granddaughter stayed overnight at my house, last night. Oh she was tossing and turning, there were a lot of "Grandma, can you .." this, and "Grandma, can you .." that? "It's too hot" "It's too cold" or "I don't like the fan on, Grandma." Sigh-h-h ...

At some point it was "Grandma? Can you please hold me?"

Oh yes, Sweetheart. Absolutely. Any time you want, and twice on Sunday. 

Oh, my heart. 💗

Out of the mouths of ..

Walking across the parking lot at preschool - headed to the car.

4 yr old granddaughter: "C'mon Grandma! Let's jump!" as she proceeds to hop on both feet quickly across the asphalt while pulling me by the hand.

Me:  "I'm coming Honey, I don't jump real well these days. I'm a bunch older than you, it's harder for me." I do a modified hop/skip to the car.   

4 yr old granddaughter:  "Grandma? Were you this old when you were born?"

Me:  "Well no, I was a baby when I was born, just like you were!"

4 yr old granddaugher:  "I was born on my birthday!" Big smile.

Me:  "I was born on my birthday too!"

The thoughts hop around as quickly as her feet do! I have trouble keeping up with those too!

Where the heck is Art Linkletter??

Context: my daughter texted me about her daughter, and a back and forth they had. More context: the grandpa she is talking about? My ex-husband. (I'm not snickering at all!)

I mean .. 😈

There is no way in the world I could have come up with that physical analogy. Ever.

But damn if I don't appreciate it!!

 

Sometimes This is All I Need

Sometimes when my day is bad, when my spirits are crushed and hopes are dashed, this little 4 year old tornado of a child comes over and bakes box-mix brownies with me, and all is right with my world.

I was not a perfect parent by any means, ask my kids - they'll tell you. But somehow I still got rewarded with a grandchild which to me is a gift to treasure forever. 

This little girl is growing up way too fast but because of the invention of the smartphone, there are pictures and more pictures to look back and remember the days she fell asleep in Grandmas arms, tried to drink Grandmas tea, and tried to climb the cat tree. 

Right now those pictures allow me to look back and remember when she was a baby and relive all the moments we have spent together so far.

Hopefully someday those pictures will be what she uses to remember things she did at Grandmas house, music she heard, treats she talked me into, and with videos - even remember the sound of Grandmas voice. Right now the pictures aren't so important to her, one day - they will be some of the only things she has of me.