What happened? I mean, really?

I know the answer. I know what it will take, I know how to do it, I have done it in the past. I have everything I need to do it.

Except motivation. Except whatever it takes to get my butt off the couch, get me off the computer, or get me out of the kitchen.

Exercise. Agh-h-h-h!!! Never been athletic, never been good at sports and instead of wanting to be picked first for games, I shrunk into the background hoping not to be picked at all.

When I was a stay at home Mom for a few years, and after that when I worked nights, I was able to get an actual work out in, 5 to 6 times a week. I used to get on my treadmill in the heat of summer and enjoy feeling the sweat run off my face and my body. Somehow it validated what I was doing. Look! I’m sweating like the proverbial pig! I am burning calories and firming muscles!!!

Lately though, there are so many reasons why I am not working out. So many reasons why I can’t. I mean, my exercise equipment is out in the garage. The garage is full of spiders and we all know how I feel about those. My treadmill is in the house but there is no room to face it toward the TV and I get too bored just listening to my ipod or staring at the curtains or through the window at my backyard.

I have no energy. I’m tired all of the time which of course is in no way related to the lack of exercise in my daily life.

You want to know what really happened? Okay. Oh, this is hard to admit. I was already heavier than I wanted to be. I was waffling (with whipped cream please) between the best way to exercise and was actually doing some of it. This was oh-h-h, 2 years ago and some change. So what happened to my activity level and my good intentions?

I got a laptop.

Seriously. And I got wi-fi.

Before I got the laptop I shared a computer (read begged to get
on every now and then) with my children. I enjoyed my time on the computer, teaching myself how to use it and navigating the Internet (read online shopping) for the first time. What can I say, I was late to the party.

My weight has moved up steadily, actually at an alarming rate, since I have had the luxury of taking my laptop wherever I want to in the house, sitting down with it and being automatically connected to the Internet. Preferably with the TV on mostly for background, I sit. I type, I click, I read blogs. I.do.not.move.

I must do something. This laptop, this Internet, they are my drug. I quit smoking about 5 years ago. I have shown I can do things when I put my mind to it. But for some reason at this point in my life I want to just enjoy myself. And I enjoy my laptop!!! And finger foods. I love anything you eat with your hands, candy corn, cheeze-its, Indian corn, things that rattle when you shake the bag or box. Oh and ice cream. Premium ice cream if you please.

It’s bad. It’s out of control.

So, I bought the DVD, another one. I’ve had it for about 5 days and I have managed to open the case. I took a picture of it. I haven’t quite gotten around to popping it in the DVD player, but that’s next, really!

Cause you know all of these other tapes and DVDs have been opened too – and some even made it into their respective players. Rarely has my body moved along with these perky or muscle bound instructors.

But I have a secret this time. I do good with things for dummies. Anything for dummies speaks to me so this DVD has to be the one that works! Yes, it’s the DVD that will do it!

But right now, I think I’ll have a little snack before bed and put more thought into this in the morning. Sheesh. And to think I used to be able to skip a meal and see my hip bones by morning.

This is work now.