Maxine Monday

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Really?

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Pants optional

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Well it was a lovely Thanksgiving. Cooking, not cooking, burning myself and shooing cats off the doggone table. Brandishing a knife didn't matter at all. It was just me, my Mom, and my son Andy. We ate turkey and mashed potatoes and sweet potatoes and ... oh ... halfway through dinner I had a thought and asked "Andy, are you wearing pants?" I saw the corner of his mouth curl up just a bit - no reply other than "um..."

Yeah. My son came to the Thanksgiving table in his boxers. And I didn't notice. I guess that's just the way we roll.

[Insert picture here of me shaking my head.]

What are you gonna do?
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Have a lovely Thanksgiving!

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You know it's cold when ...

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... Jake takes up residence in the bathroom by the heat vent!



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Maxine Monday

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Seems like it, anyway!

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Darwin Awards

Yes, it's that magical time of year again when the Darwin Awards are bestowed. Here is the glorious winner:

1. When his 38 caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.


And now, the honorable mentions:


2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine and submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.


3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.


4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies claiming they were not mad but had been picked up by the driver. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.


5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.


6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer... $15. [If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?]


7. An Arkansas man wanted some beer pretty badly so he decided he'd throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block hit the window, bounced back hitting the would-be thief on the head and knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on the stores CCTV.


8. As a female shopper left a New York store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the thief. They put him in the patrol car and drove him back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."


9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said that these weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away again. - THIS WAS AWARDED THE 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER


10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near vomit and spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man had admitted to trying to steal gasoline, but he pushed his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.



*** Remember.... They walk among us!!!***
And They Breed ...... Be very afraid!!
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Best I can do

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I've gone ahead and scheduled a few posts for while I'm incommunicado. But what I really want to say is - I may manage to read a few blogs, but not on a regular basis so please forgive me when I don't visit. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, right? . . . right?

...is coming to to-o-o-w-w-w-n-n-n . .

You better watch out
you better not cry
better not pout I'm telling you why
Mother mine is coming to town!

Okay, she'll be here on Thursday. She will be staying through early December. I'm not sure what I'll be doing as far as posting is concerned since my Mom doesn't know I have a blog, much less more than one. And I don't want her to know.

Unfortunately she likes to come up behind me when I'm on the computer and say "what are you doing?" as she tries to read the screen over my shoulder. I guess at 81 she can be forgiven for not knowing proper computer etiquette.

The option of taking the laptop with me to my bedroom would be cruel and unusual punishment for her. She can't always sleep so she's up at all hours and she likes to do puzzles on the computer in the middle of the night.

I've created a new Guest user so she won't be getting into my desktop and folders and uncover any bloggy secrets. I can't write knowing my mom might be reading it!

But I am cringing because my Mom is the one who in talking about computers uttered the now famous "People say you can't break these things. But I think you can!" Yes, you can break computers Ma. I just have to remember she's my Mom and she's more important than my computer. Wish me luck!

Maxine Monday

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SO-O-O True!

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I thought I'd heard it all - but I don't want to hear this!

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Noisy sex woman loses appeal bid

BBC NEWS Tuesday, November 10, 2009

A woman who was banned from making loud noises during sex has lost an appeal against her conviction.

Caroline and Steve Cartwright's love-making was described as "murder" and "unnatural" at Newcastle Crown Court.

Neighbours, the local postman and a woman taking her child to school complained about the noise.

Mrs Cartwright, 48, from Washington on Wearside, lost the appeal against a conviction for breaching a noise abatement notice.

She argued she had a right to "respect for her private and family life" under Article 8 of the Human Rights Act.

But Recorder Jeremy Freedman, sitting with two magistrates, rejected her claim that she could not help making the loud noise during sex.

He said: "We are in no doubt whatsoever about the level of noise that can be heard in neighbouring properties, in the street and in the back lane.

"It certainly was intrusive and constituted a statutory nuisance. It was clearly of a very disturbing nature and it was also compounded by the duration - this was not a one-off, it went on for hours at a time. "

It is further compounded by the frequency of the episode, virtually every night."

'Shouting and screaming'

Next door neighbour Rachel O'Connor told the court she was frequently late for work because she overslept having been awake most of the night because of the noise.

She said: "The noise sounds like they are both in considerable pain. I cannot describe the noise. I have never ever heard anything like it."

The court heard Sunderland City Council recorded levels of up 47 decibels.

Mrs Cartwright was appealing against the abatement notice, which was imposed in November 2007, and a subsequent Asbo (Anti-Social Behaviour Order), banning the couple from "shouting, screaming or vocalisation at such a level as to be a statutory nuisance".

She has since been accused of three counts of breaching the Asbo, but has denied the charges and will stand trial at Newcastle Crown Court on 14 December.

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You know you want to see them.
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I know right? Yummy!

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Maxine Monday

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Accidentally frugal

I'm an online shopper. Anyone who knows me knows that I would rather research something, search different shops and compare prices all day long on my computer than take one 20 minute run to the store. I really should get out to do some hands on shopping more often because it's not unusual for me to accidentally save money when I do!

Pillows. I needed pillows for the bed in my daughter's/guest room. Taking my life in my hands I went to Wal-Mart. I simply hate that store because it's where people go who bring 12 children and don't watch them, they bring all their relatives and see nothing wrong with blocking an entire aisle while grandma and cousin Anna argue the pros and cons of a certain brand of toilet paper! But I digress.

Pillows. Found 'em! For $2.50 a piece. Should I repeat that? TWO DOLLARS AND FIFTY CENTS!!! A lady in line behind me when I was paying asked me how much they were and HUGGED me when I told her. I swear! I bought 4. Oh and I checked, they aren't filled with little lead painted children's toys from China either.

After surviving Wal-Mart I went to get my hair cut at my usual Super-Great-Clips-Sams or whatever it is. Not only did the gal do exactly as I asked her to, but when I went to pay - it was only $7.99!!! Normally it's only $12.00 anyway, but there was a HUGE sign on the window I didn't see advertising the special price. I am so unobservant sometimes it's scary.

This is the haircut. I wanted it shorter in back, and longer in the front, leaning towards a bob. I know it's not long enough on the sides yet but she cut the back nice and short so I was happy.

As you can see, taking pictures with cats around can be a challenge.

You can't SEE me!

What?

Oh - and what's up with spell-check on Blogger??? It wants me to split words up and tells me "special" could possibly be spelled "racial"? It's been this way for a while but I swear it's getting worse.

G'nite!

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I'm tired. I'm really tired. Like I've never said THAT on my blog before. Worked 11 hours today which is okay because I do get overtime when I work over. But it's also okay because I didn't feel like I was spinning my wheels which is sometimes what it feels like when I can't figure something out. I enjoy my job but I enjoy it most when I'm doing it well.

It's also okay because I have decided to only work a 3 day week this week - with tomorrow being my Friday. Woo hoo, woo hoo! Can't beat that! And it's also okay because after I go into the kitchen and make my lunch for tomorrow - I'm off to an early bedtime. Might watch some election coverage or read a book for a bit. Don't think I'll last long though. Did I mention that I'm sleeeeeepy?
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S'cuse me, I have an appointment with a bed. Nite!
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Maxine Monday

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