Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Self defense

I read about doing this somewhere. While I am waiting for my weapons grade ant killer to arrive in the mail, I still have to feed the cats. And since I am not going to go around and spray the cracks and crevices they are coming out of for now, I have to find alternatives. NOT leaving cat food out during the day is simply not an option.
So - cat food meets the pie plate.

The theory being that ants can't swim, although I'm not convinced mine can't, if I keep a moat of water around the bowl that holds the food, they will not invade it. Cats will just have to get used to it.

Doesn't seem to bother Riley.

And as for the ants that wander in - well, this baby won't be put away for a while.

Survival of the fittest. Or the thinking-est. Or somethin'.


Monday, June 28, 2010

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Party crashers

Anyone who objects to the wholesale slaughter of insects, or cannot handle a grown woman bawling like a 3 year old child, look away now.

The house I live in is built on a slab. No crawl space or basement. A slab of concrete separates us - from them. And if there are cracks in that slab, which I have no doubt there are, it makes us that much closer to - them.

When it rains a lot and the ground gets saturated, they decide they need to come to the surface, swimming straight up into my house. ANTS. Now these are not just ordinary ants. I have spread and sprayed so much poison wherever I could without killing the humans and animals in the house, these things have morphed into some kind of super insects.

Y'know when you see a single ant crawling across your kitchen floor you might reach down and squish it (so-to-speak) with an index finger? The ant sticks to your finger so you go to the garbage or the sink and flick it off - maybe rolling it a bit to make sure it's dead? Yeah. I know you know.

Well at my house if you do that, you think you've squished some kind of little scent bead. Cause you will smell - poison. Chemicals. These ants have apparently become somewhat immune to the super duper keep on killing for months poison I have poured into any and all cracks or crevices they magically appear from. SEVERAL times. Now they actually smell like poison yet are crawling, cat-food eating, happy healthy interlopers in my house! And they hang out in the bathroom too. What is THAT all about??

Okay, go back to what you were doing. I don't necessarily feel any better but I had to try. Now I'm going to go cry.

** Look what I just found on an exterminator website:

Ant baits are not effective for all colonies of ants. Some ants prefer protein bait others prefer sweet baits. Ants always prefer fresh baits.

Chemical sprays can INCREASE ant infestation. The queen (or queens!) is key to elimination. If you spray and kill the workers, the queen goes into high production to keep her colony going. More females may be designated as queens to produce more eggs which results in...you guessed it...MORE ANTS!

Oh man!!


Monday, June 21, 2010

Sunday, June 20, 2010

You do not deserve this day.

Dear Ex-Husband,

I have been thinking about our last conversation. It has been bothering me a lot. You asked why she would still be upset about things that happened such a long time ago. When we were married I had rules for arguing and one of them was "no name calling". I have not been married to you for 15 years. You are a moron.

Before we were even married (much less had kids) I stressed to you the importance of a father
in his kids lives, especially his daughter's. I explained how your relationship with your daughter would shape how she felt about herself and how she related to the men in her life. Forever. When we got divorced I emphasized the importance of seeing our kids, staying involved and keeping your promises.

You started a new family, broke all of your promises, and moved away.

You think because your daughter went to visit you a few times when she was still a child that everything should be okay now that she is an adult. You are stupid.

I must say to you the one thing you have claimed not to be true over and over. You are EXACTLY like my father.

And I will never forgive you.


The Ex-Wife


Friday, June 18, 2010



Stupid light pole

The new bag

Pretty flower


Things that make you go hm-m-m ..


Monday, June 14, 2010

Saturday, June 12, 2010

I can think of 542 other ways to spend my money.

I was shopping for a new purse and I came across this .. armadillo gone wrong. I know I'm not on the cutting edge of fashion but, really???

Would you pay $542.00 for this?


Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Do you know Carl?

Guess who turned 82!?!?! There were cupcakes and balloons and ice cream and loud singing. And yes, I made a woman with emphysema blow out a candle. Hey - she's grateful she's still here and can! There were presents and fun was had by all. No, no face painting. But my daughter introduced us to Talking Carl! Ever heard of him?

Yes, he's an app. He's a rubbery looking little red block you can poke or tickle and he yells or laughs. And he imitates voices or sounds he hears. Mom thought it was pretty funny so we loaded Carl on her phone and then .. Dani's Carl said "Hi my name is Carl" so my mom's phone said "Hi my name is Carl" a bit higher toned - so Dani's Carl said the same thing back and Mom's Carl ... well, you get the picture. At some point the Carl's had stopped imitating each other and one of us would say something and both Carls would imitate the words. We'd all laugh and the Carl's would laugh and then Mom started to cough. And the Carls coughed! It was hysterical. Except then I had to stop and make sure Mom was okay. She was. Haven't seen her laugh like that in years and years.

Mom got phone calls from her other 3 kids from different parts of the country, my sister's son sent her some chocolate covered strawberries, me and my kids were there, her brother called as well and there was lots more chocolate! It was a good little party.

And you know you want to meet Carl.

When we were leaving Dani said "Gee I thought Carl was just for kids - " uh huh - kids and old people apparently! Whatever works. :)

Bret Michaels didn't show.


Monday, June 7, 2010

Maxine Monday

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** I didn't forget last night, Blogger was giving me errors! (angry face)


Wednesday, June 2, 2010


Have I mentioned lately how tired I am? Been leaving the house at 8:00 a.m. most days and not coming home till after 8:00 p.m. Left the house later than that on the weekend, but came home later too.

My mom is a trip and a half.

Did you know that if an elderly person has an infection - say - a urinary tract infection - or is dehydrated - it can send them into a very confused state? I sure as hell didn't, and all of a sudden I thought my mom must have had a stroke or we were in the middle of a Colombo episode and pretty soon a scruffy little man in a rumpled overcoat
was going to come in and start investigating the boogie men that were surrounding us. Er . . . her. I didn't think there were any boogie men but boy I was hoping somebody would tell me who they were and what they were doing in my mom's room!

That hospital Mom was
in before? Still as nice as I remember but boy it gets old after a while. Especially when you spend almost a whole 4 day weekend in it. And when you have one admin person, one aide, one nurse one doctor and one Episcopalian Minister ask if you have a DNR on file, you start getting really nervous.

Several blood tests and CT scans later, hydration and antibiotics and Mom is back at the nursing home with a bit of color in her cheeks eating Jell-O and speaking in full sentences again.

There was a point when I had to ask the doctor if she was trying to tell me that my mom didn't have
much time left and she answered "Yes. Let me say it will happen sooner than later."

So really, what the HEL
L does THAT mean?

Apparently didn't mean much to my mom because she's as clear headed as I've seen her in a long while and enjoying her iPhone. Okay yes I admit it, I got her one. It was worth the expense
for several reasons but one in particular. Mom's emphysema is pretty advanced. Any exertion sends her into a breathing episode which is exacerbated by the anxiety she feels when she cannot breathe. Medical staff on hand was quite surprised when Mom was struggling so badly and I stepped in and handed her the iPhone - telling her "here Mom, delete the pictures."

I kid you not, she LOVES to delete pictures from the phone. So I go around taking pictures of everything and anything and nothing at all, just to pile up a hundred photos or so, so she can delete them when she is trying to breathe. And as she flicks from one picture to the next, deleting some and moving past others, her breathing slowly becomes less labored and ragged, and finally comes to a point of calm. She continues to delete the pictures until eventually they are gone and she is past her episode. It works. Every.

Worth every penny, I tell ya!