Saturday, August 30, 2014

Dog-sitting instruction manual

.. written by my daughter Dani.  I am watching my grandpuppy Rue, for the weekend.

Drop off: 8/29 around 12pm
Pick up: 9/1 around 10pm

Morning (whenever you get up):
-Outside! Rue will poop and pee
-Food: One scoop

Evening (‘tween 4 & 6):
-Outside! Rue will poop and pee
-Food: One scoop

Bedtime (whenever you go to bed):
-Outside! Rue will pee
-She is used to sleeping in bed with people
If you prefer, you can put her in a room with some pillows or blanket; she’ll be fine—maybe a little cranky but fine

Commands (allegedly):
-“Rue, sit” + point finger at floor
-“Rue, off” + point at where you want her to go
-“Rue, stay” + stop signal with hand
-“Rue, come” + good luck with that
-“Rue, do you wanna go OUTSIDE?”
-“Rue, TOY! Rue, where’s your TOY?” + enthusiasm
-“You gotta bring it here” (re: toy)
-“Do you wanna go to BED?"
-“Rue, where ’s the money? Where’s the money, Rue?” + weapon

Dog is staring, whining, and stomping at you: Let her outside
Dog is staring, whining, and stomping at you: Ask her, “Rue, where’s your TOY?” repeatedly until she brings it to you. Throw it.
Dog is staring, whining, and stomping at you: Sell her on Craigslist
Dog is barking: Sorry she just does that and we’re working on a patch for it but it probably won’t come out until Rue 6.0
Dog’s breath smells: Give greenie
Dog needs to stop doing something: Clap once loudly, say “Rue, NO” OR make a guttural “EHH” sound like a buzzer on a 60’s game show (see: Truth or Consequences)
Dog is annoying: Give rawhide
Dog is annoying: Hypnotize with petting
Dog is annoying: Let outside
Dog is annoying: Maybe you aren’t a dog person. Try harder
Dog seems excessively itchy: Give 1/2 a benedryl wrapped in a bit of American Cheese
Dog is sick: Call vet: Palatine Family Pet Care - 847-496-5387, then call me
Dog is sick and vet is closed: Take to closest animal hospital, then call me

Or just call me. Or text me. Or something. Enjoy! Thank you!

PS: Rue does not like: Loud beeping sounds, getting wet, when you blow in her face, most other dogs, most dry dog biscuits, and Nancy Grace.

Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Yeah, I did.

Did what?  Skipped Maxine for 2 weeks in a row and didn't worry about it.

Felt a bit bad, but didn't worry.

Things have been busy, and sad, and adorable too.

I lost Norah, my full figured beauty of a cat.  She wasn't quite 12 years old and although she had kidney disease and I was giving her fluids at home - I wasn't expecting anything so dire so soon.  But, kidneys decide when they are going to stop working sometimes, Norah wasn't feeling well, wasn't eating and wasn't going to get better.  Her last day was spent out on the deck relaxing, having ice water (she loved it) and a bit of milk, something she didn't get very often.

She was a sweet natured and gentle girl, and I will miss her mightily.

Work has been a bit crazy lately, with my job description changing almost daily it seems.  But the thing that keeps me most occupied is this - these guys -

So ... sad, busy, and adorable.  All these reside in my home right now.  The only thing that is certain now ... is that nothing will remain the same.