Saturday, June 29, 2013

Paula Deen and our culture of hypocrisy

I have been watching everything being taken away from Paula Deen.  Companies she has done business with for years are dropping her left and right, lest the thought police gin up a furor against them.  Are racial slurs okay?  No.  But do people use them?  Yes.  Every. Single. Day.  In Paula Deen's case, does she deserve to lose her restaurants, endorsements, TV show and every other thing she has worked years and years for - because she said something years and years ago?  For that matter, even if she said them yesterday?

Everything is so upside down these days.  Racial slurs are ugly and hateful but they are not illegal.  And Ms.
Deen is being treated as less than something you have to scrape off the bottom of your shoe.  I don't think she deserves her livelihood and her reputation to be destroyed because she said some hateful things.  Here's a concept - people who were offended could stop watching her on TV or buying her cookbooks.  Let the marketplace punish her - or not.

The trial of George Zimmerman has begun.  His friend on the witness stand said Trayvon called Zimmerman a "creepy ass cracka".  That in itself isn't the point.  The fact that she then testified that she didn't consider that to be a racial comment, and culturally, that's the way she and her friends talk, is.  I'm guessing she doesn't have any endorsement deals to lose.  But what about the people below?

Trayvon Martin Fans Tweet Death Threats If George Zimmerman Is Found Not Guilty
Trayvon Martin Fans Tweet Death Threats If George Zimmerman Is Found Not Guilty
(Credit: Twitter via Twitchy)
Trayvon Martin Fans Tweet Death Threats If George Zimmerman Is Found Not Guilty
(Credit: Twitter via Twitchy)
Trayvon Martin Fans Tweet Death Threats If George Zimmerman Is Found Not Guilty
(Credit: Twitter via Twitchy)
Trayvon Martin Fans Tweet Death Threats If George Zimmerman Is Found Not Guilty
(Credit: Twitter via Twitchy)

(Credit: Twitter via Twitchy)

There are cultural differences yes, but does that mean these comments are any less wrong than whatever it was Paula Deen said?  Really?  Because not only are they racial remarks, they are violent.  The hypocrisy is breathtaking.  What about people like Alec Baldwin and his gay slurs?  Ever listened to hip hop lyrics?  Our
culture is so riddled with hate it's not funny.  But why is Paula Deen being singled out this way?

A female Texas lawmaker filibustered the other day to block a bill that would have banned abortions after 20 weeks and is hailed as a hero.  Paula Deen says some ugly things years ago and her life is ruined?  Where is the justice in that?

Again, everything is upside down.  In pursuit of diversity and acceptance and inclusion - an intolerance has developed that is relentlessly cruel.  But that's okay because they are righting wrongs.


Monday, June 24, 2013

Thursday, June 20, 2013

You're just sayin', huh?

It's a terrible thing when anyone dies too young.  James Gandolfini is one of those people.  It hits close to home when that someone is younger than you are and appears to have some of the same issues you do.  In this case - weight issues.  At least that's what people have been saying. The man was a fabulous actor but more importantly he had a teenage son and an 8 month old baby girl that will never know her father.  So very sad.

At work this morning in the kitchen area where I was getting hot water for my tea, I spoke to one of my coworkers about it.  His response was "it is tragic.  Really, tragic."  He went on, "The man was an amazing actor in my book, and it's tragic." He looked at me and raised his eyebrows in a knowing way, "But it's not a surprise. Really.  You look at that - " again the eyebrows raised - "and you know, it's not a surprise."

The way he said 'that' was like he was calling James Gandolfini a thing.  A fat thing.  You look at 'that' and it's not a surprise.  There was a hint of disgust in his voice, a little - 'he did it to himself' there too.

I raised my eyebrows back - didn't the man realize he was talking to a fat person?  Didn't he realize he might as well tell me he wouldn't be surprised if I died as well?  With the implication that it would be my own fault?  And isn't he making a lot of assumptions as many people do about why one person is heavy and another is not?

Ignorance is an amazing thing.  So is that feeling of superiority some people feel they are entitled to have because of the size of their waistband.

I will say about James Gandolfini the same thing I say about myself.  You do not know how he got there.  You don't know his story, you don't know his struggles.  And the number on your scale does not give you the right to comment on the number on his - or mine.

Monday, June 17, 2013

Saturday, June 15, 2013

Neither here nor there.

Went to see my surgeon yesterday, he removed fluid from my band so I can eat comfortably again.  Even though I always take small bites and chew very carefully, there was always that moment when I would see whether the food was going to go down easily or get stuck.  Or feel stuck.  It was very uncomfortable and sometimes almost painful.

We discussed my options and I gave my new insurance information to the office staff so the insurance gal could contact my insurance company to discuss coverage.  Apparently there is none for bariatric surgery.  Just like they told me.

It is accepted these days that weight loss surgery is many times the best option for someone with type 2 diabetes and other weight related medical issues.  Somehow my insurance plan is not that up to date.  To say I was disappointed is an understatement.  Not sure which direction to go right now, having trouble with the guilt, feeling like I've failed.  Failed at being able to keep the weight off on my own and failed at the option I chose to help - and now even questioning my decision to leave my old job which had better insurance than my new one does.  But there was no way I could have known that and realistically - I would have added high blood pressure to my list of maladies if I had stayed at the other job, but it's easy to question many of my choices at this point.

Not giving up - just figuring things out.

Monday, June 10, 2013

Monday, June 3, 2013