Scratching my head ..

.. why don't I want to go to bed at night .. when I hate getting out of bed in the morning?

Just asking.

Maxine Monday

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The truth is not always appreciated

There are many things I write about here, starting originally with the intention of promoting my jewelry, all the way through talking about depression, my journey of being a caretaker and my mother's passing, to my cats, my kids, and the occasional rant.  My writing is simple, the way I speak, and admittedly grammatically incorrect with poor sentence structure.  But very few people have ever accused me of not being able to get

my point across.

This is a strange point in my life, I feel somewhat unsteady on my feet, self-confident but not, in control but spiraling out of it.  And oh my gosh I hate to even say this because it sounds so ridiculous but I feel misunderstood.

For many years I have prided myself on admitting mistakes (of which there are many), taking responsibility, and have been a strong believer in being open.  In fact - sometimes I think - too open.  Applying for the job I have now it's one thing I repeated to several people - with me, what you see is what you get.  I don't play games, I say what I mean and I'm not one to say what I think people want to hear. That's not to say I just say anything - I recognize there is a time and a place for everything.

So .. what to do when it seems other influences would like me to change the very essence of myself?  Because I don't know how to be anything but real.  And grammatically correct or not, communication has always been one of my strengths.

You look in the mirror every day and you see yourself a certain way.  It's disorienting when others don't recognize that person - is you.  Or maybe they recognize that person - they just don't like who they see.

That is entirely possible.

Not sure there is a single thing I can do about that.

You may think I'm crazy, but .. at least think.

You may have read some posts where I wrote about stopping at Walgreen's .. it's a frequent thing for me.
 Even though I moved a year ago, there is a Walgreen's right on my way home from work, quick to run in to pick up makeup remover towelettes, etc.  Recently they started a rewards program, ala grocery stores .. use your card, get discounts.  So of course I signed up.  Today - I gave the card back.  The clerk looked at me like I had 3 heads and when I asked if she knew of anyone who had done that she said no.  Her look was quizzical when I briefly explained.  She left the card on the counter after I had paid and wished her a good rest of the day.

We live in an age of information.  My job is all about - information.  Much of my free time is spent on the Internet and my smart phone.  Over-sharing here on my blog is one thing.  I get to pick what I share and what I do not and from now on I am going to choose more carefully what I share and with whom.  Like *Google - I use Bing now because I find Google to be too intrusive.  And because they got rid of iGoogle and Google Reader and made me mad, but that's a whole different issue.  With the NSA scandal and Obama care looming and the IRS being involved well - I'm not a conspiracy theorist by any stretch of the imagination.  But - I'm simply starting to feel uncomfortable about how much of my information is going to be available to different agencies and I've just decided I am not going to frivolously give that information away simply to save a bit of money.  It's not just Walgreen's - but Walgreen's does have access to information my grocery store does not.  Here is what I wrote to the store this evening:

I turned in my rewards card today.  I've always known that cards such as these track your purchases and that's fine.  But when you start mixing prescription tracking and health and fitness tracking - that's too much of my private information being tracked.  I have gone to Walgreen's for my prescription needs for well over 30 years.  I have never felt like my personal information was at risk until I realized that the information Walgreen's has - can all be tied together under the guise of cost savings.  I just don't think a pharmacy should be doing that.  If you want to save me money - have normal sales.

So, look at me funny like the clerk did, think I'm slipping off some crazy slope if you want.  I just think all of us should be more careful about the forms we fill out, and the information we supply to all kinds of places. Walgreen's is where I put my foot down.

*I am aware of the irony - this is a Google application, this blog.  And if I find something better to replace it with - you betcha I will.

Maxine Monday

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Can I say I was asleep when I did it?

This is new to me, being on-call for work, and not particularly welcome.  Monday night (Tuesday morning) I received a phone call at 2:30am which led to my being awake until 4:00am.  ARGH!!!  Try to go to sleep after that, knowing that you have to get up in 2 hours.

Last night, I had to call an important client at 12:20am to make sure the issues they were experiencing that had been resolved earlier in the day - had not reoccurred. Can you imagine the feeling of wanting to sleep so badly - and talking to really chipper people on the phone who were the reason you weren't in bed?  Heh.

Afterwards I had to notify 2 different people that the client was still good and after that came the documentation.  My head hit the pillow at about 1:00 am.

Can you say - I think I'm too old for this crap?!

Please pray for the person who wakes me up tonight.

If I didn't have bad luck ...

10 packets per box, 6 boxes per .. box, 4 boxes .. that's
math, forget it.  It will have to last.  *sniff*

I am an all around jinx, apparently.  Things I like go away, get discontinued, go out of fashion.  Yes, it has happened again.  The ONLY good part is that I realized before the entire supply was gone, but it's not being made anymore, that I have verified.

It's Ocean Spray Cran- drink mixes. You know, the individual packets you mix with your bottled water.  I LOVE the stuff.  I was buying it on a regular basis and then - it was gone.

Here's how bad it is - I seriously thought about not posting this in case someone else who loves it might see it and start searching for the limited supply too!  MINE!  MINE!  Maybe this is one time I'm glad I'm not one of those mega-popular-get-their-own-TV-show bloggers.

Only 5 calories and it tastes great.

Sigh-h-h.  I'm not recommending it to you though.  Leave me alone with my addiction.  Please.

Maxine Monday

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This old man ...

.. weighs 10 lbs!!  At the vet tonight the vet tech said - at 20 years old, to be gaining weight like this - just doesn't happen!  Whatever you're doing, keep doing it because he's doing great!

Only time in my life I have been praised for providing a diet of junk food!  Well, copious amounts of good, healthy cat food, supplemented by cheeseburgers and hot dogs.  Turns out this kitty loves hot dogs.  :)  

Who knew?

Maxine Monday

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