Dodged a bullet again.

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I hoping to getting back to my normal boring fare now, since Mom is back at the nursing home and well again. Relatively speaking. No angiogram, meds will do. AND she was put right back in the same room with the same roommate which is HUGE. Her roommate is a lovely woman from a big Italian family with lots of kids and grandkids. They are all friendly and fun and include my mom when they are visiting. No one would ever call my mom gregarious so all the family coming and going is a very good thing.



My brother flew into town the day Mom was leaving the hospital, and while the advisability of surprising an 82 year old woman with a heart condition can be questioned, I would have loved to see my mom's face when my brother unexpectedly walked into her hospital room. She was very surprised, and very happy to see him. Nice! Saying good bye the next day was hard for him, because I know he was thinking it may be the last time he sees her alive. That's tough, especially since he blames himself for the need for her to leave his home. He. Did. Not. Fail her! But yeah, tell HIM that.



Plus, I got word today that my Mom's brother, her older brother - is coming to see her in 2 weeks. Sounds like he will just be passing through but still, I imagine she never thought she would see him again. We all live in different states!!! I'm hoping the visit will do her good, lift her spirits and all that.



Mom did ask me to find a nice funeral home around here today. She has it all prepaid but we have to transfer it from another state. I told her I will check into it but she has to assure me she won't be using it for quite a while.



I mean, I know she's the one who is ill, whose health is stable one day and in free fall the next. But I really need some smooth sailing for a little while. Work has been uber stressful and being there for my mom extracts it's pound of flesh as well. I need an itty bitty rest. Please?



Oh, and would you look at that bruise? The paramedics had trouble getting a vein. I'll say!!
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When the time comes ...

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So is an angiogram advisable for a woman with advanced lung disease? If they find a blockage and put in a stent, will it make a difference? Is it time to talk about comfort, dignity and unfortunately - reality?

Today someone said "end of life issues" and "end stage COPD". I don't think they meant Mom isn't going to graduate from this hospital stay, but were suggesting a different view, a different approach to her illness and acute episodes. It can't be fixed. COPD is incurable, the lungs just don't work after a while. And as much as I miss smoking, watching my mother basically suffocating to death is a real good reason to never start again.

I wish I knew what to expect. Will her heart give out during an acute breathing episode? Will a breathing episode become so acute she passes out and then needs to be kept sedated? What happens when someone dies from COPD, emphysema type? Does it have to be violent?

Morbid, yes. Not something pretty or blog fodder for that matter. But I have to think about it. I have to know what I am preparing myself for. If any family will be there with her when it happens it will be me, and probably my daughter. Is there a peaceful way for her to go? Is there a way for her to pass gently without gasping for breath and straining for air? Because I would want to choose that for her.

She doesn't want to die. But if she must, I want to choose the easiest route for her. Do I get to pick?

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Maxine Monday

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Hi ho, hi ho, it's back to .. the hospital we go?

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Another weekend, another trip to the hospital with Mom. She had a really bad breathing episode that all the iphone photos or breathing treatments weren't helping so in came the paramedics while my daughter, my mom's roommate and I kind of huddled in the hallway fighting the tears. All very scary, I might add. I've never been there when a horde of medical people with cases and gurneys crowd into a room and surround someone and start asking questions and taking vitals.

Can you say helpless feeling?

One day she's fine (relatively speaking) and the next she's in the hospital, really struggling. Today - she's struggling.

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I'm nosy.

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Warning! iPhone App! iPhone App!

I thought this was cool.

It's a webcam app that has dozens and dozens of cams but the fact that they are so varied and work so well is what I like about it. You can choose to see random cams, cities, attractions, people .. and a bunch of other categories. You can save the ones that interest you as favorites, and since there are cams all over the world - there is always something to see.


Question though, do you think even a fraction of these people have even an inkling they are being watched?

Hmm-m-m ...

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It's called "LIVE CAMS"

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Maxine Monday

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMERICA!!

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I am grateful for the liberty this country affords me so today I celebrate it's birth. Happy 4th of July everyone!

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