It's Been a While!

I actually didn't realize how long it has been since I'd written here. There have been things going on that I will eventually write about, but not yet. And in keeping myself busy working on healing from some stuff, I've been putting a ton of effort into my Etsy Shop.

My therapist (she says like everyone has one) says that being creative is one of the healthiest ways of working through 'issues'. I haz 'em. But actually, there is no therapist anymore. I mean - she still exists in the world, but just not as someone I will be seeing anymore. Not counting out the future, but for now - I think I'm good. 

There has never been a time in my life where I felt the need to totally step back, take a breath (or several) and reevaluate a lot of things. Take myself out of a completely toxic and demoralizing situation for the good of - ME. Not when I got divorced, not when other things in my life seemed overwhelming or unmanageable, but this time - I needed that break. AND I TOOK IT. 

At first I felt weak and unsure if it would help, I wondered what others would think, if they could possibly understand what I was doing and why. But you know what? I don't care. I needed the break, the breather. And I'm actually kind of proud of myself that I did it because it has been good for me, very good. 

I don't wish bad situations on anyone, but I do hope others are able to take that step back, to really look at what they are doing, what they want to be doing, and if they should continue doing it. I know it's not possible for everyone for a multitude of reasons, but sometimes a time out isn't a punishment, it is a necessity and a very healthy thing.

So ..

I have been working on some things, keeping my hands busy and being creative is good for my mental health. There was a time when I made pot holder after pot holder after pot holder. I have been told this is a very healthy strategy. When I am having trouble concentrating or focusing on things that are bothering me, making something makes me feel like a superstar! 

This blog was started a million years ago to promote my Etsy shop, and then I kind of drifted away from that and it became a personal blog. I've decided to reopen my shop with a different name, a different style, and for different reasons. Regardless of why - it is now open. 

Funny, when it was open to begin with I was really into customizing my blog and attached the link to my shop at the bottom of this page. If I click on it now it will still take me to my new shop but I have no idea how to change the actual picture of the link. I've forgotten how and it seems too hard to devote time to. 

Although, I may have accidentally jusr figured it out. Lol! That is too funny. The brain is a wondrous thing that works in mysterious ways. :)

Life Changes

Sometimes you have to reevaluate. Determine whether your life is making you happy, or whether you are in control or if other external forces are. 

It's time for me to do this, to look at what I want, what my abilities are, what makes me happy. What do I really want to do? And it's time to take control of my life, whether it is good, bad, or ugly. I am a firm believer in personal responsibility, which includes not blaming other people for where you are in life. Everyone has choices, everyone has good and bad circumstances to deal with, and everyone decides how to react to their individual situation. 

Things were feeling dark for a bit, but after working through it, I am able to see the light at the end of the tunnel. The end of the tunnel may not be as close as I would like .. but at least I can see it.

There is this little girl who brings me joy - who loves princess dresses, nail polish, and fire trucks. Oh how I appreciate the time I get to spend with her. She has remained a constant, that good thing that has never failed to make me smile. There is always something (or someone) to be grateful for. A young child who  has not learned to be mean or manipulative, or guarded or dishonest. In my case, a grandchild. She is pure light.

So, I have that goin' for me. :)

Thank God.

Moving forward, hopefully I will make good choices, react well to circumstances, and move in a positive direction. Working on it. Because at some point you can't sell your soul for money or anything else, and I am not willing to do that. We will see where I end up but I am unwilling to carry that heavy weight anymore. 

Things are just bad.

Right now it would be lovely to write about what's going on. I am going through something I've never been through before, and many days feel as if I am hanging onto sanity by a thread. At some point I will elaborate, but not now.

Still, with all the bad, there are bright spots. 4 yr old granddaughter stayed overnight at my house, last night. Oh she was tossing and turning, there were a lot of "Grandma, can you .." this, and "Grandma, can you .." that? "It's too hot" "It's too cold" or "I don't like the fan on, Grandma." Sigh-h-h ...

At some point it was "Grandma? Can you please hold me?"

Oh yes, Sweetheart. Absolutely. Any time you want, and twice on Sunday. 

Oh, my heart. 💗

Spring would be nice about now.

It has snowed 3 times in the last 4 days.

 I'm SO over it.

Have to admit, this is pretty cool.

"Don't Stop Believin'" has been inducted into the Library of Congress. 

Steve indicated that as the child of immigrants, this is a classic "only in America" story. So true. 

I had a birthday recently

 

Can you hear me from there??