Trying to enjoy the process

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Y'know this house stuff is all so complicated.  There are appraisals and applications and disclosures and Realtors and loan officers and attorneys and inspectors and contractors and sellers and .. and .. I'm sure there are more.  I've come to really like my loan officer and my realtor, they are both great people and tons of fun.  I know, not something usually associated with those positions, but I tend to break the ice right off the bat because if it's not going to be at least a little bit fun, I don't wanna do it.  And oh boy some of this can be tedious.


If I look at my lady (my GPS - doesn't everyone call it their lady?) there are an incredible amount of addresses.  Being the queen of online shopping I was finding properties faster than most - and emailing my realtor and asking  to see the listing, why is this one so cheap, why is this one so something else ... to the point that if I were him - I might have gotten exasperated and started avoiding my emails!  Instead he laughed and showed me what I wanted to see, gave me the information I requested.  Great guy!


At this point I feel like when you're 2 weeks pregnant and don't want to tell anyone anything because you aren't sure what might happen before everything is certain.  But things are moving along.  


I've made some new friends during this process, and saw an old one too - all in all it's been a great experience so far.


Now lets just hope the pregnancy goes full term.  I'll let you know when it looks like it might.

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I wish you joy!

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Feeling it.

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Many times in my life my happiness hinged on whether I was in a relationship and if I was - whether it was working or not.  You always hear that you have to love yourself before you can truly love someone else, you have to wade through your own garbage before you can share it with someone else.  Er.. or something like that.  But none of the knowledge stored in my noggin made a damn bit of difference when it came to what I felt in my heart.  And my heart always seemed to be breaking.  

Fast forward several years and I have trouble reaching deep and touching those emotions again.  They are remembered but they are no longer felt.

 I do not believe I will ever be willing to marry again.  I have a feeling my relationships will always be a bit at arm's length.  Yet knowing these things I still find myself being content and satisfied with myself.  At peace even.  My kids are great and I am making moves in my life I never imagined doing on my own.  

It seems this is the season for realizing that life is good.  Pretty sure I've never felt it as much as I do now, and it feels amazing.

52 has been a very good year.

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Maxine Monday

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They laugh!

.. when I say I'm properly medicated now.  And I do say it as a joke.  But when I think back to the years between oh ... 20 and 40 with some teen years thrown in for good measure, I was depressed.  More depressed than I knew.  And at 35 when I started to pursue treatment for it .. it took me YEARS to find the right meds.  And now - it has made such a difference in my life from confidence to anxiety (or lack of) to happiness and coping skills I have been heard to say the only way you will get these meds away from me is someday prying them out of my cold dead hands.  I never want to go back there again.


So when I say yep - I'm properly medicated now and they laugh - I'm laughing right along with them. That's something I may not have been able to do once upon a time.

And I am grateful.
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Wanted:

This.  I really want this coffee table.  But since it generally runs about $450.00 - over $500.00 with shipping, it's not going to be mine.
          

But this one - is made from pallets.  You have to know which pallets to pick, what they've been used for and which ones are made from treated wood and which are not.  But pallets are cheap - or free - if you know where to go.    

  

                                

Which brings me to - 

WANTED:  ONE MAN (or woman) IN THE NW SUBURBS OF CHICAGO WHO CAN BUILD ONE FOR ME.

Eh?  You think I'll find someone?  Cause I really like that table.  If I had the proper tools and knew where to look for pallets I might try it myself. 

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I float like a butterfly .. okay maybe not.

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My middle name is not Grace.  There have been falls.  Sometimes there has been ice involved, or curbs or stoops or even .. ahem .. flat ground.  Sometimes the surface itself is not even involved in the fall - until I hit it, that is.  Cats under my feet do not usually get me, although they try, God knows they do.  But that thing where you move from one spot to another by  putting one foot in front of the other - that tends to be tricky for me.  I have no idea why.


My daughter mentioned the other day that she shudders to think of me buying a house that has stairs I would be treading every day.  Hmm.  My thought has always been - good!  Exercise!  Her thought is - oh no!  Death trap!


Somehow those thoughts have not entered my mind when house-hunting.  Maybe they should.  


Nah!  I'll let my daughter have the thoughts and I'll just be careful.  :)




**Edited to add:  My realtor let me know he was not available on a specific date because he was taking a class.  Since I want to know everything I asked what he was learning.  His answer proves that my unsteady footing is well known.

To deal with clients
Like how to break a clients fall
Normal stuff

Ahem.

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Is this kitchen okay?

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It's not really big, but it's pretty, right?

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Finally.

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Sitting in a coffee shop this evening with some time to kill, waiting for my friend to arrive I spent about a half hour reading  my Post Secret app.  If you're familiar with Post Secret, the app is different.  Instead of just secrets there are a lot posts about longing for love, lost love, bad love, and any other kind of love you can imagine.  There are also a lot of 'days sober' and disturbingly - many 'I don't want to live anymore' posts.


Being a moody and depressed teen (and adult, for that matter!) myself at one time, I had to look around and say - damn!  I'm pretty doggone happy with things these days.  


Really.  Thank God.






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Maxine Monday

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**Family - please remember Maxine does not necessarily speak for me.

   Thank you.

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I cannot believe this is in my freezer!

It was funny on Saturday Night Live.  But I haven't had any desire to try this.  My daughter has, and this pint belongs to my son.  It defies logic.

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Christmas is my holiday

Not like it doesn't belong to anyone else.  In the way that it has always been my favorite and I love, Love, LOVE my Christmas tree every year.  Except this year .. I just didn't quite feel like it.  Maybe because of the house hunting, I feel like I'm halfway out the door already, not sure.  But the idea of putting up my big, full, detailed, did I mention BIG tree this year was just not appealing.  So I bought myself a 40 dollar skinny tree (pre-lit) and decorated it in pastels with a few splashes of red.  This suits me for Christmas, 2011.  Hopefully next year, this will be only one of two trees in my new house!

Hope you're enjoying the run-up to Christmas!

Maxine Monday

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