You know you're old when ...

A million years ago when I started this blog, or actually "A Bead a Day" it was called then, I did it to advertise the jewelry I was making and selling on Etsy. There is still a link at the bottom of my blog I think, to my shop. My shop that is closed. I haven't made, much less sold, jewelry for quite a while. But I want to. At least I want to make some.

But my bead room is A HUGE MESS.

For various reasons I took 3 days off work which gave me a 5 day weekend - part of which I meant to use to clean up my bead room and get it usable again. 

So funny I thought I could do that!

Tuesday after work, I picked up my granddaughter from preschool and brought her home. Getting her out of her car seat, something I have done a hundred times before, I fell out of the back seat of my own car. But not only did I fall out - I fell out backwards, with my feet still in the car, and my arms and head - still in the car - so you know what was outside the car? Yeah. My butt.

Landing on asphalt with all my weight on only my butt and small of my back was .. well .. jarring, to say the least.

They say if you fall and everybody laughs you're still young. But if you fall and everyone gasps and asks if you are okay - you are very old.

There was a car turning onto the street and the driver slammed on their brakes when they saw me fall. I guess that means I'm old.

I jumped back up pretty quickly, mostly out of embarrassment but also because I had suddenly dropped out of sight and my granddaughter was yelling "Grandma! Are you okay??" Yeah, she thinks I'm old too, and she's too young to get the joke!

Needless to say I didn't do anything productive while home for 5 days. No bead room clean up, not even laundry. Sigh-h. 

And yeah, I'm okay. Thank goodness! You know, because it's frequently a fall that starts the decline in the health of the elderly. Ahem. But I'm good. Really.

Happy Birthday Mr. Perry!

"The Voice" gets another year older! 

             HAPPY BIRTHDAY, STEVE!

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Wishing Steve a wonderful birthday full of fun, spent in the company of loved ones and friends with good food and great music!

I'll never know if I could have made a difference.

Are you good at keeping in touch? Reaching out and checking on people? I'm not. That is a huge failing on my part, and I hate it. 

A number of years ago before the Internet and smart phones, I had a friend who I had known since high school. We both got married and had babies and only kept in touch a couple times a year. I drove out to visit her a couple times, but could not get her to come see me. Never sure why, we only lived about 30 minutes apart.

Fast forward a number of years and both of us were divorced. She started calling me now and then and it seemed she was drinking when we spoke. I passed it off as drunken sentimentality and did not worry. But then she started calling me more often and was really sloppy, telling me about all that was bad and wrong in her life, but never really listening to me when I tried to help. Mostly, I just listened.

To my shame, at some point I stopped answering the phone. It was too hard to listen to her. 

She died on the lawn of a transient motel, having had an aortic aneurism, alone.

I had no idea she had spiraled so far, had used up every last favor by family and friends, and her only companion had been a bottle. Because of course, I had stopped answering the phone and moved on with my life.

Relationships are not always easy. Sometimes relationships are impossible. But if you don't pay attention, if you don't put in the effort, be prepared for the consequences, whatever they may be.

My friend's fate was much worse than mine, and I know I did not cause it. But I am haunted just the same.

I'm sure it's just a glitch

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Deep thoughts

Ever wonder what in the heck you're doing? Wonder what you are contributing to the world? Want to win the lottery so you can run away and rescue kittens?

Yeah. 

I am a hard work proponent. I have been working forever. But it would be nice to do something that isn't stressful. It's stressful when a person is not in control of their actions and feel they have little input on what they do on a daily basis.

In other words, working for someone else can be stressful.

I don't want to start a business, but it would just be nice to get off this merry-go-round and do something that feels - I don't know - lovely. 

Like rescuing kittens. Or puppies. Or koalas. Seems to be a pattern here. I'm sure it's a lot of hard work, but the rewards must be - LOVELY! Just having an off day. Tired.