Kate says it's all been very hard, very difficult. Jon says he despises Kate. Kate says she doesn't know who Jon is anymore, they've become 2 very different people. Jon says he loves his new girlfriend more than he loved Kate. Kate has a meltdown when Jon introduces the kids to his girlfriend. It goes on and on and on . . .
I can relate to a lot of this - when SHOULD someone introduce the kids to a new girl/boy friend? My vote is you need to put your libido on hold for a year. At least. Or at least make it a year before you introduce any new love interests to your kids. Sorry Jon.
But here's the main thing. STOP TALKING ABOUT EACH OTHER AT ALL!!! You have 8 adorable children, TALK ABOUT THEM!!
When I got divorced one thing I told my kids was something to the effect of - I might get mad at Daddy sometimes now, and he might get mad at me. And none of it has anything to do with you, it's not your fault and nobody hates anybody. But if I ever say anything bad about your Dad because I'm mad in front of you - stop me. Stop me and remind me "Mom, that's MY DAD you're talking about."
Honestly I don't recall either of them ever saying it to me, although I don't remember what time to go to bed most nights so it means nothing. But I vowed to myself I would not put their father down or speak badly of him. And when they got older (18 and beyond) and started asking more questions about the divorce, I tried to stress my part in it as well as his. Don't get me wrong - there were times I wanted to put things in a different light or demonize him, but I had to stop and think of what he would say, what his side of it would be, and try to provide both sides. Because rarely is it just one person. More often I would say it is simply two people who probably never should have gotten married to each other at all. Not that one or the other was a jerk or any other nasty word you can think of. Some people don't belong together.
For Jon and Kate it's worse because every little story ends up in the tabloids - true or not - and someday their kids are going to see all of it. That makes me so sad for those babies.
I know Jon and Kate both read my blog on a regular basis for .. hot flash updates and cat advice *cough cough* so I will say this to them directly: "Jon, Kate, SHUT UP ALREADY!!!!"
I feel better now.