Monday, March 1, 2010
Is it wrong to be mean to my doctor?
Thursday is my first doctor's appointment since the diabetes diagnosis. And all I can think about is how pissed off I am at him.
My doctor is funny, straight forward, and loves to tell people about how his wife thinks he's the biggest a$$hole around. And I can see why she thinks so. I would never want to be married to the man but as a doctor I've always trusted and liked him.
So when he acted annoyed with me (presumably because I had not lost weight and prevented the condition in the first place) and said he had to treat me, handed me a meter and shoved me out into the little waiting area outside the lab where I waited for his nurse to bring me a diet and some useless pamphlets - it really made me angry.
Not sure what I'm going to say to him but there has to be something about making a diagnosis and then at least pointing a patient in the right direction to learn how to manage said illness. There were a few days there where I was weepy and overwhelmed. And I still feel overwhelmed and on some days I feel defeated. I think I've gained some understanding and then my numbers disprove it. While I understand this is something I have to learn to take control of while the doctor will only manage my care - he could have given me a CLUE!!!
Maybe it's not fair to be angry with him, but I'm not blaming him for the diagnosis. I fully realize it's my own fault due to diet and lifestyle. Like I actually have a lifestyle. Sounds glamorous, doesn't it? But as my doctor, I would have expected more than annoyance and being pushed out the door with no real direction or guidance.
All I keep seeing in my mind is sitting in the chair in the exam room, looking up when he walks in and saying .... "Y'know, you really SUCK." Because we all know how articulate I am.