Going back to work after having a week off is a bit disorienting, but I'm having more trouble at home than at work. Sunday night I was really good. I made sure whatever I needed to do for morning was done early, I was ready for bed early, watched TV and drank some nice hot tea. Without caffeine. I went to bed at about 11:30 which is pretty good for me when I've been staying up late and sleeping in for a week.
Falling asleep took me longer than usual but that was to be expected. What surprised me was waking up at least 3 hours before I needed to get up, and tossing and turning until my alarm went off.
It happened again last night - or maybe I should say - this morning. I was laying there conscious of being awake but thinking things in a dreamlike way. And thinking about things that I don't normally think about, nor do I want to. It's as if my subconscious is taking advantage of my being only half awake to bring up old hurts or choices that during my normal waking hours I have put to rest a long time ago. Throw in new concerns and worries and you get insomnia soup. All this stuff runs through my head and I can't stop it unless I turn on my TV and focus on something else. That's what I did at about 3:00 in the morning today, and I finally fell back to sleep. Just in time to be aware of being awoken from a very satisfyingly deep sleep, by my alarm clock, of course. UGH!!!
As a result of this interrupted sleep I feel like a zombie.
Christmas can't come soon enough for me. I won't get to sleep too late, my daughter will wake up first and head for her stocking. When she tires of being alone she will go wake up my son. I will start to hear them talking quietly in the living room, and hearing the tinkle of the bells on their stockings. When Dani thinks it's 'safe' - she will come and wake me up.
*opening gifts, opening gifts, opening gifts...*
By afternoon the kids will be showered and ready to go to their grandparents house for the 2nd half of Christmas day. And when they go the house will be quiet. Just me and the kitties. And by then - I will be ready, willing, and able to take a NAP!!
I'm counting the hours. Because it doesn't seem like I'm going to get a full night's sleep anytime soon.