I Would be in Favor of Morning if ..

There are morning people out there, and there are even morning people who are perky very early in the day. Pretty sure those perky morning people might be struggling with a mental disorder, but I can't prove it. Regardless, I am not a morning person, and certainly not perky in the morning. There might be an argument made that I am not ever perky, and I'm not sure that word has ever been used to describe me. But I digress.

Morning people are fine, as long as they let me sleep. In some ways I wish I were a morning person because it seems more people are morning people than people who are like me who would rather pull the covers over their head and go back to sleep. It seems to be a more acceptable way of life that I wouldn't mind being a part of. But alas, I am not. 

So tomorrow morning when I need to be at my desk at 5:20am to do some go-live testing (technical I.T. talk), I will be there. I am reliable. But I will not be happy, and God knows I will not be perky.

Also - if the testing is successful and goes quickly - you can bet your sweet a$$ I will go back to bed.

As I have said in the past - I would be in favor of morning, if it would come later in the day. Who do I talk to about arranging that?

Does Your Cat Do This??

No, I don't sleep with my glasses on.  But I do
need them to take a picture!

Emmett loves me.  I know this.  He has turned out to be a scaredy cat, spends a lot of time under my bed or out in the living room if I am home, but not if anyone is visiting.

At night he believes he is Casanova.  Or something.  He climbs on my head and sucks on my hair.  He licks my face and tries to lick inside my nose. No, not allowed, Emmett. He flops his whole body across my neck or worse - my face, sometimes waking me up by not allowing me to breathe!

Yes, he loves me.  I know he's trying to love on me.  Or something.  But it's really hard to get any sleep with him around.  People suggest locking him out of my room at night.  For a while I wore little caps to bed to keep him away from my hair.

But the problem is, while I'm pushing him away .. while I'm whining at him to stop .. while I'm moving him so I can breathe .. I am smiling.

Because yes, Emmett loves me.  And this is the way he shows me.

The day the snooze died.

I am a notorious snoozer with my alarm clock.  I play games with myself, my clock is never set for the right time, and I hit the snooze the same number of times in the morning, every work day, and get up at the same time - and it's really much earlier than my clock says.  I know it, but in my sleepy brain in the morning, I can't quite figure out what the real time is so I get up, not wanting to take a chance.

Crazy, I know.

This morning, my snooze died.  My snooze button has been getting harder and harder to use - press down in the middle .. no .. on the right side .. no .. left side of the button .. wiggle it .. it was starting to defeat the purpose of using the snooze button.

This morning - it would not turn off.  My worst nightmare - turning off my alarm before I actually have to get out of bed.  But I did it this morning.  Then of course I set my cell phone for the time I wanted to wake up - and promptly went back to sleep.

Tonight I unplugged my old, tired, dusty little alarm clock and replaced it with another one I had laying around.

Goodbye old friend.  You played my games with me for a very long time, you humored me, yet still woke me as needed.  The other alarm clock will never quite be the same as you.

Farewell.

.. and I was SO comfortable!

I was asleep on the couch and woke with a start.  I quickly glanced to my right at the clock and was all "holy

crap!  7:45!  I'm supposed to be walking out the door right now - I am gonna be SO late!"  I was about to fly from the couch like a ninja (heh) but first glanced in the other direction out the window - dark. Registering ... night. Wait.  It's not morning, it's evening.  I'm not late for work at all. However, I may have had a small heart attack instead.  Sheesh.

I hate it when that happens.

Should I do something productive on my day off tomorrow?

Now why on earth would I do that??

This guy?

Sleeps like the dead.  Unless his stomach is growling he doesn't wake up when someone comes in the room or makes normal household noises. 

Unless of course, it is about 3:00 am.  Then he gets up and wanders the house - yowling.  I've read that it's not unusual for elderly cats to wander at night, to seem confused and to vocalize.  My crabby ol' man cat qualifies as elderly and he's certainly doing those things.  It has been suggested that I open the door and allow him to make the choice.  But how can I punish him if he has kitty-Alzheimer's?

Sigh-h-h.

He's lucky I love him.  Oh well, I've played the caretaker role before ...

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Risking the rude stuff

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I'm supposed to have a sleep study done pretty soon.  Hopefully.  My reaction?  "Coo-o-o-o-o-l!!"  I've always thought it sounded like a neat thing to do.  A friend of mine had one recently and found out she stopped breathing 4 times during the night.  Not sure I want to know that.  But on the other hand, it's still cool to go somewhere and get all wired up and find out what you do at the one time every day that you have no idea what you are doing.  I mean really.  You could be sleep walking, you could be crank calling strangers.  Of course you could be sleeping peacefully and not making a sound, or you could be snorting like a pig and baying like a beagle.  You. Don't. Know.  


So I am hoping to do this in the next month or so.  From what I have been told they recommend you bring your own pillows if that will make you comfortable, your favorite jammies, a book, your laptop, whatever will help you feel at home and contribute to the most normal sleep you can get away from home with goobered up wires stuck in your hair and down your shirt and wherever else they put them.  


The only creepy thing about it to me is - they don't just watch the monitors.  They watch you.  How many people do you suppose scratch and wipe and make noises with accompanying odors that have nothing to do with the sleep study, but someone is observing anyway?  I mean - there could be people behind a window making a drinking game out of every time you *insert disgusting action here*.  Again, you just. don't. know.


I guess I'll risk the ridicule to find out why I don't sleep well anymore when it used to be one of my specialties.  Oh I was a champion sleeper!  Now - I toss and turn all night long.  And I am so tired.  I won't bring my pillows or a favorite blanket or anything, but you can bet I will bring my laptop and Eeyore.  Yes, I sleep with Eeyore.  He comes with me.  I mean really, you need someone to blame the rude stuff on, don't you?

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This is one kitty who knows how to relax.

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Morning and I are not friends.

..and I really believe this.

It's almost here!!

Going back to work after having a week off is a bit disorienting, but I'm having more trouble at home than at work. Sunday night I was really good. I made sure whatever I needed to do for morning was done early, I was ready for bed early, watched TV and drank some nice hot tea. Without caffeine. I went to bed at about 11:30 which is pretty good for me when I've been staying up late and sleeping in for a week.

Falling asleep took me longer than usual but that was to be expected. What surprised me was waking up at least 3 hours before I needed to get up, and tossing and turning until my alarm went off.

It happened again last night - or maybe I should say - this morning. I was laying there conscious of being awake but thinking things in a dreamlike way. And thinking about things that I don't normally think about, nor do I want to. It's as if my subconscious is taking advantage of my being only half awake to bring up old hurts or choices that during my normal waking hours I have put to rest a long time ago. Throw in new concerns and worries and you get insomnia soup. All this stuff runs through my head and I can't stop it unless I turn on my TV and focus on something else. That's what I did at about 3:00 in the morning today, and I finally fell back to sleep. Just in time to be aware of being awoken from a very satisfyingly deep sleep, by my alarm clock, of course. UGH!!!

As a result of this interrupted sleep I feel like a zombie.

Christmas can't come soon enough for me. I won't get to sleep too late, my daughter will wake up first and head for her stocking. When she tires of being alone she will go wake up my son. I will start to hear them talking quietly in the living room, and hearing the tinkle of the bells on their stockings. When Dani thinks it's 'safe' - she will come and wake me up.

*opening gifts, opening gifts, opening gifts...*

By afternoon the kids will be showered and ready to go to their grandparents house for the 2nd half of Christmas day. And when they go the house will be quiet. Just me and the kitties. And by then - I will be ready, willing, and able to take a NAP!!

I'm counting the hours. Because it doesn't seem like I'm going to get a full night's sleep anytime soon.

Remember Simon's cat?

Not sure if I ever posted this or not, but it's been around a lot. I love it, it is SO classic cat. Except the ending of course. I don't think any of my cats have resorted to that yet.

That one is great, and so is this one. Life really does imitate art.

I suppose my trophies ARE a bit tarnished ..

Everybody has something they are good at. Something they have worked really hard at or something that comes as naturally to them as breathing. Or – sleeping.

I have always excelled at sleeping. If there was a gold medal, a blue ribbon, or a trophy for snoozing, I would have it. I would have to have a separate room just for my awards; I have always done it so well.

But I have been so tired this past year or so, all I have wanted to do is sleep. I have to force myself to get up in the morning, yawn all day, and daydream about taking a nap as soon as I get home from work. Frequently during the day I can be heard exclaiming “I’m dying here.”

On the weekend it’s not unusual for me to simply not wake up till noon or later. And then – 2 or 3 hours later – curling up on the couch for a nap. Except my naps are like a nights’ sleep for some people. 3 hour naps would be considered the norm for me.

I have always marveled at people who just wake up in the morning – early in the morning, which means any time before 10:00. And not only wake up, actually get up and out of bed. If I wake up early it’s only to trudge to the bathroom or clumsily turn over – and then I’m back to sleep again before you know it.

My doctor suggested that maybe with all this sleeping and never feeling rested, I am not sleeping well. My reaction was “What??? I sleep like a champ!” It never ever in a million years would have occurred to me that I am not actually getting good sleep. Heck, I thought ALL sleep was good sleep!

So when he suggested I try taking something to help me sleep, a test, to see if it would be a different kind of sleep, I balked. “I don’t need anything to sleep, wanna see? I’ll lay down right here on this narrow paper-covered exam table and show you! Just give me 10 minutes.”

I ended up agreeing to his little experiment, more out of desperation than anything else. I am so tired of being tired.

I have been taking mama’s little helper for a week now. Getting to bed at approximately the same time every night, and getting up at my usual time in the morning. I haven’t taken any naps, although there have been days that by 8:00pm I am just waiting for it to be 10:00 o’clock so I can take a quick shower, get my stuff ready for morning, and climb into bed.

This morning, Sunday, I woke up at an ungodly hour. I laid there for a while, looking at the cats that were surrounding me sensing that I was awake and would soon be the bearer of food. I looked at the clock, closed my eyes again, somewhat confused. Confused, because I was awake. I probably could have gone back to sleep if I tried, but I didn’t feel like I needed to try.

I don’t really have an addictive personality, unless you count cigarettes which I did finally quit, and carbs which I haven’t. But I have had diet pills – nah – tossed them in a drawer. Anti-anxiety meds – quit taking them when I felt I didn’t need them anymore. So I am not worried about taking this medication for too long or in a way that isn’t good for me.

It’s only been a week. I don’t want to get too excited. I can’t jump to any conclusions or give my doctor any credit (especially since he’s such a smart-ass) when the experiment is only 7 days old.

But this morning? This morning I woke up all on my own, without an alarm or a cat touching my face with her paw. I didn’t wake up because I had to pee or to turn over. And this morning, I got out of bed at 8:30 am. And not because I had to.

For a lot of people that’s normal. For me? Momentous!

I haven't been to Africa

I think I have a sleeping sickness. Sleep is a coping mechanism for me when I am depressed. My whole family is like that actually. Most people toss and turn, I sleep like a baby. And keep on sleeping. But I am not depressed right now. My kids are doing great, I just got a new position at work, the BF is wonderful as usual, I am downright giddy! And yet, I sleep.

I come home from work most days in a hurry to take a nap. Can't wait, love it, actually. But I am not one of those lay my head down, snooze for a half hour and wake up refreshed people. I sleep about three hours, sometimes more. When I wake up I am awake for a couple of hours and then it is back to bed for the night.

I am a night person by nature. If given the chance my hours would probably be reversed from most of the rest of the world. I struggle with getting up in the morning and frequently will try to make sure I get to bed early to make sure I have plenty of sleep and wake up feeling good in the morning. But it seems that no matter what time I go to bed the night before, I have trouble getting out of bed in the morning. Or in the afternoon which the case may be on the weekend.

Today was not unusual. I got home from work at about 5:45, and by 6:15 I was laying down on the couch for a nap. I woke up about 8:00pm, got up to go to the bathroom and then it was right back down in a groggy heap on the couch where I fell right back to sleep until 10:30.

I know the best thing I can do is to keep a regular schedule. Get up at the same time every day, go to bed at the same time every night, and no napping. Somehow I am never able to achieve that, the call of the nap is so tempting and I am so weak willed. But as a result I can sleep hours upon hours and am never fully refreshed. Plus, on the weekend, it's not unusual for me to sleep past noon and get very little done during the day. And to make matters worse, if I allowed myself to do it - I could sleep past noon, get up, be awake for a couple of hours and be ready to sleep again. I rarely allow myself to do that, but when I have - I have slept away whole days.

I haven't been to Africa, haven't picked up any funky little parasites lately, yet I seem to just want to sleep. A lot. And really, I'm not depressed! I promise! I have thyroid meds but really the doctor says they are practically unnecessary so I suspect he is just placating me. The last time I went to see him I handed him a list of all my complaints and told him I was tired of it, pun not intended, and told him to fix it. I also told him it was his fault, just for good measure.

I guess his Honey-do list is longer than I thought cause it sure isn't fixed yet.

I would like to feel awake like most people do, have energy and get things done. It's a vicious circle, because I know exercise would help. But who can exercise when they are napping? Okay, this is turning into whining and I don't want to do that. But I really would like to feel normal. I know doggone well that I'm not suddenly going to discover more hours in the day, or wake up one day to discover that morning has been moved to later on in the day. It's always going to be early. Sigh-h-h.

Time to go to bed. Nite y'all!

*Just a thought; is it possible I am morphing into a cat? Just askin'.