Thursday, May 14, 2009
Something or other, sweat and tears.
I was okay until I picked up the card that started with "Daughter . . " There in the card aisle I felt my eyes tear up and my face start to flush. I was looking for a graduation card for Dani. I wasn't at all sure what I was looking for when I started, no big deal, just a card, right? That's what I thought until I picked up that one flowery, seriously sentimental card.
People graduate from college all the time. I know that. I also know that other parents are just as proud of their children as I am of my daughter. I have 2 kids. I am crazy proud of both of them. But Dani is a girl. (she's cringing reading this) So I see myself in her and have always hoped she would take a different path than I did. I wanted her to be able to make choices about her life based on different criteria than I had to. She has given herself options. Options that I didn't even know were open to me at her age, due to my upbringing but more because of a lack of self confidence in myself and in my abilities.
Dani is not me. She will not make the choices I did and when she does make mistakes they will not crush her. She has made up for what I could not give her emotionally for many years - by growing in strength, character and sensitivity. And she can still be my little girl now and then when she wants to be.
Yes, I am proud of her. And I am also so incredibly happy for her as she sets out on this next phase of her life. The tears come when I think about the fact that she has those choices I mentioned but also - that she believes in herself enough to make them for herself.
So Honey - your card might have some smears and some smudges from my clutching it so tightly as I teared up and felt the unGodly prickle of heat as a hot flash spread across my body in the store. Menopause even interupts the sweet times. Your mom is simply a mom, doing what all moms do - crying inappropriately and sweating in public. Aren't you proud?
I love you Honey.