Tuesday, November 13, 2007

How angry am I? Not so much.


So, my daughter went a wanderin’. The question I asked was – am I angry with her? Truth? I can’t be. Not for trespassing on university property to poke around an old village and hotel with no intentions of doing any harm to the place. Even though it was against the law.

I know I need to teach my children the difference between right and wrong but let’s face it. Dani is 21. If she hasn’t learned that lesson by now, I won’t be the one teaching her, life will be.

When I think of all the things I did when I was her age and younger, well, my kids will never hear most of it so neither will you! Suffice it to say that I am glad my kids are not like I was. I wasn’t a bad kid, but I wasn’t the best either. And the time in my life when I lived in a college town with my husband was a time of ‘messing around’ - and not getting caught.

Sigh-h. I know I’m supposed to be mad. When I talked to Dani on the phone at the end of the conversation I worked up my stern voice and said “consider yourself reprimanded! Do not trespass again!” And then I laughed. It was the best I could do.

The child gets all A’s, she is dangerously intelligent and level headed. She is paying for her own college education; she has arranged all of her own financial aid and loans and goes back to her job when she comes home to earn more money for school. She tossed aside the horrible food habits I raised her with and became a vegetarian who gets excited when they have a good selection of vegetables at the dorm cafeteria. She’s old enough to drink now and if she does – she actually does the designated driver thing.

My daughter is a bit messy and opinionated but she is. a. good. kid.

Before Scout and Jem ever tried to peek in the windows at Boo Radley’s place, kids and people in general have been fascinated by ‘haunted’ and spooky places. It was Halloween. Oh well. If this is the worst that ever happens I will be forever grateful.

Dani will go to court and pay her fine, along with the 16 other people that got tickets doing just what she did that day. Her life will go on, lesson learned.

If there is anything I am angry about it was the lack of full disclosure, the fact that I had to find out about the episode by receiving her summons in the mail. Her boyfriend’s Mom had already received his and was quite upset actually, partly because he wants to be a cop (irony, anyone?) I’m sure. So Dani should have called me, she should have fessed up and warned me. Other than that – I’m not mad.

In this case (I plead the 5th in other cases) I cannot say – do as I say and not as I do. I have to choose my hypocrisy carefully. Okay, it’s not hypocrisy if I am teaching from lessons learned. But this time – she learned her own lesson just fine.


  1. lol can you be my mum too!!

    You are so right - life is usually the hardest critic after leaving home !


  2. This is going to be a great story for the grandkids someday :)Of course, you'll have to juice it up a little for them lol.

  3. I'm not looking forward to the questions about things my kids shouldn't do that I did do. I guess I get to jump headfirst into that barrel of hypocrisy.

    You sound like a good mom.