Tuesday, August 19, 2008
I'll be alright. Really.
Wanted to update my blood and gore picture and show you how pretty my arm is today! It's already getting green around the edges so it will be soon enough when there are no more pretty pinks or purples to admire. Aint it a beaut??
Came home from work today and looked around at my quiet house - and didn't get upset at all. I actually do like my own company. I'm good on my own. I do miss my daughter but I think it's more about this time being different from the other times she has left for school. This time she's not sure she'll be moving back home again so it feels way more permanent. Even if it's not.
I think she felt it too - being in a dorm Dani still felt a bit protected and cocooned. Moving into a house with rent, utilities and other responsibilities feels like more of a risk even if she knows I will still be a safety net if she needs one. It's that step to living like an adult that I told her to wait as long as she could to avoid taking.
I think I prepared her for the realities of what's out there as an adult, but I also emphasized that there was no hurry to get there. I moved out of the house when I was 18 because I was in such a hurry to be on my own. I didn't want my kids to start out like I did, with nothing except blissful ignorance. But I also know that it's highly unusual for a kid - any kid - to listen to every cautionary tale their parents tell. They learn best by falling down and skinning their knees.
So, I'm fine, she's fine, and I won't get any more cats in some sad (read crazy) emotional response.
My goal right now is to get my house together and then get back to beading. I cannot even tell you how long it's been since I've made anything even though I still have the urge to do it. I sold something from my shop tonight and it surprises me lately when that happens because I haven't been putting any effort into it. I need - no - I want to get back to it.
I will admit to calling Dani today, and when I reached her she was cleaning a toilet. How great is that?!?! She's out on her own, my house is the same tonight as it was when I left this morning and my daughter is cleaning a bathroom. Of course I wish it was MY bathroom, but still.
The joys of being a grownup. :)