Once upon a time ..

I worked at a place, where there was a VP of the department I worked in, who was known for taking calls on speaker while leaving his office door open. I skyped someone once and told them - hey - Sam has your call on speaker with the door open and we can all hear it. So wrong.

Sam (as I'm calling him) regularly made people cry, berated people in front of others, and pushed people so hard they quit.

But he was making progress with projects and moving things along successfully.

Behind the scenes, his boss had hired a manager coach, to see if he could be taught to deal with people differently. None of us knew that, but we did know to stay out of his path if we could. 

One day the president of the company called those of us who were onsite into a conference room, and pulled in others by conference call, to announce that Sam had been let go. She told us that although he was successful at the things he had been asked to do for the company, the way he treated people was unacceptable and could no longer be tolerated.

We were shocked. I was hugely shocked. The president (I will call her Sheila) told us about the coaching, about how many months had gone into trying to improve his ability to manage people. But in the end - other employees and their well being meant more to Sheila than one man who was a bully.

I was still fairly new at this company, and wasn't sure Sheila even knew who I was. I had no idea if it
was appropriate for me to email the president of the company but I didn't care. When I got back to my desk I emailed Sheila to thank her. I was near tears as I typed. I explained that the previous place I had worked - Sam would have been promoted, such was the toxic culture of that employer.

I needed her to know how much it meant to me, personally, that she had taken the stand she did, and how happy it made me that this was the atmosphere in the place where I was now employed. It mattered then. It still matters to me now.

Sheila is retiring. I will miss her leadership but more than that - I will miss her heart and her simple goodness. Those are qualities sorely missing from much of corporate America.

In a world where you can be anything, be a Sheila.

Pity Party

I spent yesterday and today working my way through a pint of chocolate, chocolate chip Haagen-Daz. When I was pregnant with my first child I frequently ate a pint a day which equaled huge weight gain with that pregnancy. I have gotten away from it now, and when I do eat it - it takes me 4 to 5 days to get through a pint. I probably do it about 4 times a year now.

Friday was my favorite boss's last day. We are working remotely and there isn't a really good way for a fabulous sendoff for someone when you can't be with them in person, not to mention the fact that she lives in Wisconsin and I am in Illinois. Still. I wanted to be able to do something.

Feeling sorry for myself is not something I like to indulge in (unless it is about discontinued favorite foods - cough) and even if I do - I generally don't drown myself in high dollar, high fat content ice cream. But when I do - it's always chocolate, chocolate chip Haagen-Daz. 

My constitution has changed since I was young and pregnant, though. Because now when I eat a pint of ice cream over the course of 2 days - it goes right through me and I actually lose a few pounds. 

Win, win, if you ask me. I get to have a pity party AND lose weight! 

Still, I'm going to miss you Heidi. I hope your new job brings you no reasons to binge on ice cream and many new and lovely coworkers! 

What to do, what to do ..

My work life has always been pretty consistent in that, other people come and go, other people get new jobs and leave, other people retire, and I stay. I am not great with change, or I should say I am not great with it at first. I will adapt, but at first I will resist and have a tough time. Best thing to do in a situation where I am confronted with big changes is to keep my doggone mouth shut until I have some time to process. 

It's especially hard for me when other people leave, I get attached and clearly I have abandonment issues.

About 6 months ago 2 of my coworkers and I had to pass a certification exam for our job that was hella hard. We took the courses together, we studied together, we worked really hard on it - together. We each had 3 tries to take the exam which was proctored and everything. And it took 3 tries! That 3rd time I made sure I got enough sleep, scheduled the exam for early afternoon when my brain seems to work the best, ate a healthy meal heavy on protein first, just did everything I could think of to prepare.

One of my coworkers and I took the exam at the same time, same day. I passed. He did not, which meant he would be let go. This certification was required for our jobs.

I was devastated. A big part of it was because of how it was done, but another part was just - no - don't make him leave! We work well together, he is a friend. But he had to go.

Yesterday my boss (best boss ever) let us know she is leaving the company, and has accepted a position elsewhere. ARGH!! WHY????

Of course I get it. People have their own path to take and she came upon this opportunity which will be better for her work/life balance which is super important. I told her I am happy for her, I appreciate why she is doing it, and understand her desire to go. But boy oh boy am I on shaky ground right now. Things like this put me into panic mode for a while, fear of the unknown, stuff like that. 

I will adjust. I will get there. But right now - I'm all - NOOOOOOOO!!!!