It's sort of amazing the kind of connections you make online, the people you grow to care about and come to know. Of course you don't really know them, for the most part people can be whoever they want to be online. But you read people's blogs and you follow their stories and you can't help yourself. You care.
I have shed tears over misfortunes people have experienced, donated money and written emails of condolence or support to people who touch me.
The funny thing is, I do not let many people get too close to me in "real life." Psychoanalyse me up and down and all day long, I don't care. Whether or not I have had greater hurts or betrayals in my life than anyone else or not, apparently what has happened causes me to protect myself. And I choose not to find out if I can change that or not. It is a state of affairs I am very much aware of and I like my shield, thank you very much. But, I can still make a difference sometimes.
Besides no more Ambien, I think I have a resolution for the year after all. Through this blog and commenting on others and forming those bonds online, I have discovered how much it means to someone sometimes, to hear something positive or encouraging from someone else. I hope I have touched some people in a good way, I can guarantee you others have done it for me. It doesn't have to be a big gesture, sometimes it's just making someone smile once in an otherwise sucky day. Other times it's reminding someone that they matter. We all have the ability to touch other people. It's easy to say one more nice thing than you normally would, smile when you might not feel like it, or toss a lifeline to someone who needs a hand up.
Doing that is my resolution for the year. Nothing big or grand but I want to make one person's day, every day. It really doesn't take much and I'm betting I will get it back in spades.
And just so y'all know, I appreciate you. Those that comment and those that do not. I am glad to have the chance to know you even if it's only in a small way. You matter to me.
So far so good on getting my money back for my Ambien fueled idiocy. But we will see if it's really as easy at it seems. Will let you know!